Lost Somewhere

At the right moment in time, a scribble with a trickle of words can excite the mind like an intricate novel read over a fortnight in the cone of a bedside lamp. I've been waking up real early lately; say 5:30 in the morning. No, it's not insomnia as I often get back to sleep afterward without much of a hassle. It's just as if I'm craving to squeeze every drop of time to unearth the real essence of my life from underneath the hubbub and brouhaha. I reached for my Nokia and checked my email. The usual endless stream of Ship Position Reports scrolled on the small bright screen reducing the days and nights of lonely seamen to coordinates and numbers. I was dozy yet my seasoned eyes detected a different message forthwith. I haven't heard from her for quite sometime and as I read her words consciousness pervaded my senses instantaneously and I became fully alert.

It's been a while... And "Lost Somewhere" has been reading silently, enjoying every single post...
We all look for something at every stage of life and today I think Abu Fares is in search for a tormenting passion in his life...something that will stir up his mind, heart and soul...
NB: And when I mention passion it is in its broad meaning that embraces many aspects

That's it, she left as swiftly as she came. Despite the impact of her words, I faded back into delicious sleep. When I eventually walked out of bed, I knew that Lost Somewhere's words have touched me deep inside and needed to be mulled over within the solitary confinement of a double Scotch.

Two words of tremendous power in the span of a short string bored trough my head. Was Lost Somewhere anguishing in ardor when she posed her question? How did she know what to ask when all I am to her is a man behind a blog? As the amber fluid attenuated my thirst it fed a white fire. The warmth within heated my imagination and it soared, a hot air balloon drifting in the wind above my own ken. I looked down, a man living a tormenting passion that defied attempts to explain was lost in thought. Was it a smile I detected at the corner of his lips? I needed to see his eyes, I could only know if I stared straight in my eyes. I glided lower and stood face to face against him. The eyes, Ah the green eyes peppered with a dash of hazel, looked back at me with enigmatic tranquility as they slowly changed colors. It startled me to see her eyes on his face and I grinned with realization.

The agony, the hurt, the anguish, the pain, the wretchedness and the torment were there to stay. The fervor, the fancy, the desire, the longing, the love and the passion have filled the heart completely, have drenched the soul. The improbability, the rarity, the exquisiteness, the wonder, the preciousness and the inevitability of the merging of eyes and minds cannot come about without a torrent of torment. Life is a tasteless weenie on a bun if not for the discrepant, adverse, cruel, bittersweet, adorable and endearing relish, garnishing the dead of night into a bright encounter, softening the heat of day into a waterfall of rose water, bringing meaning to being, restoring the original innocence of birth.

"It's strange that words are so inadequate. Yet, like the asthmatic struggling for breath, so the lover must struggle for words." - T.S. Eliot

The lives of men and women are senselessly empty if it were not for the tormenting cruelty of time. Their hearts and souls needlessly void if not for the passion of love. I'm struggling to survive, Lost Somewhere, for I will die if I give up my struggle.

The music and lyrics of (Losing My Religion, 2003 by REM) filled my head as I wrote this post and I had to listen to it again and again. Here is a video link in case Youtube doesn't work for you. What a great song!

Love Tag

Mariyah appeared in the middle of the night. "Don't be alarmed", she said, "it's just a tag. Tell me in 3 words, no more, no less. What would you like to receive on Valentine's day".
Before I even mused my answer, she disappeared in the dark.

Cliodna's perpetual emanation

Fabulous sirens chanted within, luring me to forgo any struggle and drown. As I surrendered my senses I realized there was no way on earth I could've said it all in 3 words except the way I did.

From Drop Box

I tag no one... Happy Valentine's

To Do List

Apparently and for no reason at all my sense of mortality reasserted itself the other day. Instead of feeling down or in any way depressed I summoned a few loose ideas lounging and skulking around the neglected corners of my mind. I wanted to put a plan of action together and accordingly I ended up with an outline of what I have to do as soon as I own more of myself and before I indubitably bite the dust. I have my doubts that I'll be able to achieve them all. I'll be very happy if I can ultimately look behind knowing that I've accomplished four out of these seven goals.

1- See all the wonderful places I haven't had the chance to travel to yet, in particular to the Far East, South Africa and Brazil/Argentina. I don't remember a destination I haven't enjoyed. Perhaps there are a couple of places I wouldn't wish to go back to but I don't ever regret a first time visit. Of course I have only been to less than 1/4^th of the roughly 195 countries in the world and I would love to have the chance to go to each and every single one remaining. Yet the continents of Asia, Africa and South America are my primary targets.

2- TIBET. I can't group it along in a wish list of travel destinations. I have to go on a pilgrimage to Tibet and embark on a trekking expedition through this mysterious land. I need to see the Himalayas. I'm certain I don't have it in me to climb Mount Everest, but I have to see it, even if from afar. As for hiking uphill for a couple of weeks, I'm still a good bet for your money. I can hang in there with kids half my age. I want to rest and sleep in a secluded monastery. There are a few things I need to talk with God about and I want to perform my own prayer from the roof of the world.

3- I should get me a bike, powerful/comfortable/capable enough to haul my ass from Tartous to Gibraltar across Europe then back home by way of Morocco through North Africa. This is, relatively speaking, the easy part. First, I must push hard on my public relations skills to convince my wife and kids that I'm neither crazy nor selfish. I'd like them to understand that this is as imperative to me as visiting Paris in the comfort of an airliner is to them. Besides, failing to fulfill a logistically difficult yet plausible desire for the wrong reasons will make me feel that I didn't quite do it my way in life.

4- Enough roving like a wild beast! I plan to retire from quotidian work by the age of 55. I don't intend on sitting on my ass and do nothing, not yet that is. But I don't want to wake up every morning and perform robotic motions then head to an office (or two as is my present case). I'd rather work when I feel up to it. When I direly miss executing the specialized chores I'm proficient at and when I approve of the client then I wouldn't mind putting in some hours. How I am going to spend my time then, you might wonder. Let's go further down the list.

5- I'm determined that my reading must take precedence over every other single activity, mental or physical. If I accumulate all the hours I could've used to read but chose to waste on other menial and passive activities I would end up with a good number of years. I want to have a maximum break of 2 days in between books.

6- I'd like to open a small restaurant in Tartous. Six, may be seven tables that's all. This little place should be a statement on my behalf: a subtle, quiet, cozy, private, inspiring and liberal haven. I want to spend my evenings there in a corner with friends or chatting with regular clients. The menu would be straightforward, exotic yet authentically local. I don't fancy serving what is certainly better prepared in Italy or elsewhere. There will be a plat du jour and a limited number of house specialties. No way to get lost anymore, you know where to find me.

7- With all the free time on my hand I should be able to seriously start writing. There is a novel, perhaps two, in me that I would like to unload on an unsuspecting world. I feel guilty for postponing this personal objective for so long. However, it really is difficult to break the chain and take the courageous decision to stop it all, at least for the time being. I need to start doing this, the sooner the better.

Come to think of it, this post is more befitting of a tag. I'd like to tag every reader/blogger to:

Write down your own TO DO LIST before you ultimately ... bite the dust.

Fool With a Lantern

Once more, Arima, a woman I’ve met only in dreams, touched me gently on the… shoulder. "Humor me again", she whispered. "Answer my tag".

"What is the purpose of your blog?"

I started blogging with no purpose at all. Hardly a few days had passed after I'd learned what a blog was when I decided to start my own. The title I chose: abufares said… the world according to a tartoussi was the first to come to mind. Since I wanted my blog to mirror my spontaneity I didn’t hesitate. There was a description to be filled on the automated Blogspot form. I remembered something I’d came across years before and which had stuck with me. I still am not sure who wrote it. It must've been Franz Kafka, I reckon. I stopped in my track and looked for a considerable time on Google and elsewhere. Without a trace. I couldn’t find any reference to a similar quotation. I scavenged the grooves of remembrance and articulated the words to the best of my recollection. In between quotation marks, I wrote: "A man walking alone on a deserted beach, brandishing a lantern in his outstretched hand might be a fool. But, for a ship that went astray on a stormy night, the same man is a savior."

Voila! My blog was born.

I had been writing technical and commercial communication as part of the different jobs I'd held over the years. My readers and recipients were aware that I’m good with words. Nevertheless it was a thankless chore. Blogging was different and when the initial comments appeared I was pleasantly surprised. Fulfillment was instantaneous and copious and a bona fide purpose was conceived in the course of a quick courting between heartening bloggers/readers and me. Within two years I became a member of an exquisite family. I was a little older than most, nevertheless I felt right at home and settled in rather nicely.

I blog to render images of my hometown. Tartous is my birthplace and is where I want to be laid to rest. There is no other place I’d rather be but home. I’m thrilled to take wing like a sparrow, to wander high and low then to return to my one and only nest where I close my eyes and still see in the pitch black of darkness.

I blog about my enduring journey in life. There might be a lesson to learn or I might be a fool to think as much. I’m made up of bittersweet memories, of lingering pain, of fleeting moments of happiness, of disappointments, of contentment, of fancy, of veracity, of an insatiable desire to walk the trail to its very end. I want to stand tall at the end of my voyage and mumble with Sinatra that I did it my way. I’d like a transient young reader in despair to finish a post with a smile on his face. Knowing that someone returns to my blog because she finds solace in my words makes me the happiest man alive, if I dare hope as much.

I blog about the pleasures, the gifts, the good times I’ve been blessed with. I love my family and I want them to know. I love my friends, I love women, I love a good bite, I love a luscious wine, I love an uplifting spirit, I love the old stones of my country, I love a faded coat, I love to be flooded by my senses, I love to ride my bike, I love to fly, I love my solitude, I love the sound of silence. I blog to expose my love for all to see.

Like beautiful Arima, I blog therefore I am.

*I'm tagging DJ, Lujayn & Shannon

Eighteen

Annie tagged me to list 6 things one should do before 18. She has specified some rules as well.

1. Post these rules before presenting your list.
2. List 6 actions or achievements you think every person should accomplish before turning 18.
3. There are no conditions on what can be included on the list.
4. At the end of your blog, choose 6, or less, people to get tagged and list their names.
5. People who are tagged write their own blog entry with their 6 suggestions.
6. Don’t forget to leave them a comment telling them they’re tagged.

Answering this tag is probably one of the most challenging mental tasks I've had to perform in recent times. First, I’ve totally forgotten how it is to be eighteen again. I can think late twenties, early thirties, but teens! That’s so damn hard. Then, when I finally mustered enough memories to get me in the right frame of mind I faced a cold adamant reality. So much has changed since then. All of a sudden, I feel so old.
Speaking of which, I just underwent my “supposedly” annual checkup and medical tests. Well it’s been at least 3 years since my last one. I’m in excellent shape except… high cholesterol. That means I must start some research on what to eat and what not to AND how to live and how not to. On this sobering note and after considering that my oldest daughter is already passed that age, Annie took me back to 18.

1. Before 18, each boy and girl must’ve tried sleeping in a tent at least once. One of the highlights of my early teens was being a boy scout. I have spent many a summer in the fabulous outdoors around Tartous. At 16, I camped solo on Bseereh Beach for three consecutive months, visiting town no more than once or twice. My love for the outdoors and the wilderness is still a major component of my character.
2. Reaching 18 is an important milestone from a social point of view. It’s a significant landmark in many cultures: You are an adult now and you are responsible for your actions. Prior to that, we must have fallen in love and suffered some heartache. Sure, it’s often a crush rather than love in a true sense but these are the memories that will probably last forever. We should always look back fondly without remorse, without regrets. Since we are vulnerable during that stage due to our mental and physical, often painful, development, I think it wouldn’t be such a good idea to experience sex until a few years later. An innocent kiss, a guiltless touch, an adolescent embrace are everlastingly more precious.
3. We should experience, even if briefly or on a part-time basis, work before 18. We should appreciate the value of labor and be grateful to what our parents have been doing for us. I only worked for one summer before becoming an adult but the little money I made brought me pride, assurance and self-respect. We must be young when we comprehend the firm concept that work and a career are not the most central aspects of our future, yet that they provide us with freedom and self-determination.
4. Fun and play should consume most of our free time before 18. Sports, silly games, strange hobbies must be enjoyed to the fullest without shame or remorse. When we’re not playing nothing beats reading or learning a second language. I acquired the addictive habit of reading and in a second language during those early years. In addition to the experiences I’ve accumulated on my own the books I’ve read helped in shaping my personality. Today, I’m a product of my own deeds as well as the powerful written words of total strangers.
5. We must at least have one very good friend before 18. As far as I’m concerned, these are the same people I still call best friends almost thirty years later. What brought us together back then was totally void of material benefit or advantage. We are still friends for the exact same reason. I don’t want anything from them. They don’t want anything from me. We just enjoy each other’s company. Although it’s possible to harvest such friendships later in life, it’s extremely difficult.
6. Finally, we must cherish our parents and their presence in our lives. Sometime in the future, and if nature follows its course, we’re going to lose them. It will be a devastating blow no matter when it befalls us. We will accept it, recover and eventually make up for our losses by caring even more for our own offspring. But as long as we are under our parents’ wings we should take pleasure in the warmth they provide us with, we should bask in their offered security and ultimately learn from them and obey, yes obey, what seems at times their harsh rules.

The molding and shaping of our personalities start during our fetal stage. Childhood and adolescence are cornerstones of who we truly are and become. Self-respect acquired by honest purposeful labor and our benevolence to others are the remaining foundations that make a man or a woman worthy of humanity.

I’m tagging a couple of old mates and some younger ones: Syrian Brit, Abu Kareem, Karen, Dubai Jazz and Kaya.

The Kite Runner

Heart pounding in my throat, I buried my face in my hands.
The gun roared.
It’s done, then. I’m eighteen and alone. I have no one left in the world.

I received this unique tag from my friend DJ.

1. Pick up the nearest book (of at least 123 pages)
So I picked one of the several books on the nightstand by my bed. One I happen to be reading with great attention. "The Kite Runner" is an extraordinary first novel by Khaled Hosseini, an Afghan physician living in Southern California.

2. Open the book to page 123.
3. Find the fifth sentence.
4. Post the next three sentences.
I did!

5. Tag five people.
Instead of doing that, I modified the tag so that it means something, to me at least.

5. What do you have to say about this book in less than 3 sentences.
I haven't even reached the halfway point . Accordingly, I can only talk about what I have read so far. BEAUTIFUL!

toyz 4 big boyz: why i wish i was 3

Arima, a woman who graces my dreams now and again tagged me and wanted me to give her 5 reasons why I wish I was 3 again… or young in general!
Who am I to say no?

1) I don't have a lingering memory from that age, but looking at my old black & white photos I think I was a cute kid, the type that women cuddle and kiss and hold close to their bosoms. I fancy being in that situation again.

2) I don't mind at all being spoon fed by a girl who loves babies and happen to be generously endowed and lightly dressed. She would lean on me and purse her lips and make these stupid sounds and shower me with kisses leaving lipstick marks all over my chubby face, and preferably, on my adorable neck.

3) A boy of 3 will never draw too much attention or suspicion if he chose to walk on all four and look up women dresses. The possibilities are infinite, the joy of discovery juvenile and the satisfaction guaranteed. The world comes in different colors, and a little boy should be the first to learn about it. With a little luck and plenty of imagination I can later compare notes with my 3 year old buddies on who’s hot and who’s not.

4) At such a tender age a baby cannot bathe alone. He needs a gorgeous nanny or babysitter to fill the tub with candy-scented foam and his yellow rubber duck and give him a good rub. She might even join in since being so innocent he would not mind her company nor consider it in any way obtrusive. That I would very much like as well.

5) Now you’ve come so far and probably are expecting the worst with this fifth and final reason. Not necessarily, I wish I was 3 again simply because I can say and do things I’m not supposed to at a later age. Such as my 4 wishes above for instance!

After the short senseless clip of a Ramadan afternoon (2 days ago) and reading my response to Arima’s tag you might be wondering whether the empty feeling you’re experiencing at the moment is a result of watching and reading this extremely silly post or whether it’s because of you. I think it might be a combination of both. Unless you were desperate to start with you would’ve not have read so far. And, having done so and not seen it coming, you simply deserve it.

I’m tagging KJ, Dubai Jazz and Kaya

Five Restaurants in Tartous

In her effort to tag my ass, lovely Kaya had actually saved it.
It’s been one hell of a busy week. Since I cannot claim that I’ve been amused at work there’s no point in posting about it. You already have more than your fair share of problems, I fathom. The least I could do is manage to provide you with some entertainment. I have been running on empty for the last few days until this morning when I hit a brick wall. Here I am, I reckoned, one day away from the weekend with nothing to show on my blog. Then Kaya, bless her, came along and did me a favor. She tagged me and boy what a relief that was. She wanted me to tell her, and the rest of you, about my five favorite restaurants in or around Tartous.
I have already posted about a couple of these places, nevertheless, for the short of memory, for newcomers and for lack of anything else to write about, here’s my list with two different ratings. The first is what these places think of themselves while the second is my own.

1) Ayn Al Jawzat, Saeen

For a lazy afternoon of eating and drinking, away from home, there’s no place I’d rather be except Ayn Al Jawzat. This little restaurant in the middle of nowhere has been my favorite hiding place for the last 21 years. The owner, Majed, is an army buddy of mine. He prepares simple, delicious and affordable Mezza. If you have something special in mind, say Burghul b Hummus (with lamb meat or chicken) just give him a call ahead and he’ll cook it for you. You can always order the barbequed chicken of coastal Syria there, and in season, the tasty small river fish are part of the Mezza. The view is magnificent, the sound of silence overwhelming and the tender breeze hypnotizing. In the dead of winter, I also go there. Majed will light up the fireplace for me or for you, even if there’s nobody else. You see, that’s the whole idea. When the weather turns real nasty and only the deranged dare step out of their shelter, I go there to enjoy my solitude, a Batha (1/4 liter) of Arak and Mezza just the way it was meant to be.
Majed (Abu Issa) will treat everybody right, however, to get that extra bit of super hospitality, go ahead and tell him: “Abufares had sent me here.”
Saeen is a small village located in a valley east of Tartous. To go there you need to take the Dreikish road from Tartous and drive for 20 km until you reach Hbabė. There, you fork at a left descending exit for a distance of roughly 3 or 4 km till you get to the village and to Ayn Al Jawzat. If Thou Shall Ask, Thou Shall Not Get Lost. If you like to read more about what I do in Saeen, read “Everything You Wanted to Know About Arak and More.” To see pictures of the place, check out “Pictures from Saeen, Ayn Al Jawzat.”
Ayn Al Jawzat is rated as ½ Star
My rating: 5 Stars (indoor, outdoor)

2) Yamak, Tartous

Any city on the coast, any coast that is, claims to offer the best seafood in the world. There’s no reason why I should act modestly and not join in. Yamak Restaurant offers the greatest, most fabulous and freshest fish on the planet. Located on the last floor of the Chamber of Commerce building in Tartous and right in front of the small marina where the shuttle boats to and from Arwad moor, the restaurant offers a commanding view of the sea, the island and the harbor. It’s frequented over the weekend by seafood lovers from interior Syria and from Lebanon. For a very reasonable price you can eat your fill of the fish of your choice or other traditional coastal plates. I go there on weekdays when the place is more on the empty side. But, you must’ve already found out about my idea of an outing. I hate crowds and I like to eat alone. If that’s not your style, the next choice could be ideal for you.
Yamak is rated as 3 Stars
My rating: 5 Stars (indoor only)

3) Shate’ Akhdar, Bseereh

This is my second choice when I feel like eating seafood and for 2 reasons. First, you have to pay more to eat your fish and it’s because of Second: It’s fully packed most of the time. Over the last few years, this place has been gaining in popularity due to good management (of course family owned and operated) and its superb location directly on the beach. They offer great Mezza and seafood but I wouldn’t be able to really say that this joint is better than Yamak. However, this particular point is always open to debate in Tartous. I have to admit though that the outdoor setting in the evening is just fantastic. The sea reaches within feet of your table. There’s another advantage to this secluded place, the second floor is a small motel. During the day, the outdoor terrace is dotted by the swimmers and sunbathers. If you are into crowds come here. If you’re like me, stay in town.
Bseereh is about 8 km north of Tartous on the Lattakia Hwy. Follow the sign near the cement factory and stay on the old road till you literally reach the sea.
Shate’ Akhdar is rated as 3 Stars
My rating: 3 Stars indoor, 5 Stars outdoor at night)

4) Nabe’e Hassan, Markieh

On the River Markieh, Nabe’ Hassan is one of the oldest restaurants in Tartous. The ambiance is serene and the food great. The tables are placed in parallel rows with the river and there’s a simple feeling of happiness and contentment in the hiss of the trees, the flow of the river and the chatter of the dispersed clients. Mezza, Shish Kabab and Sha’af (barbequed lamb meat) are as good, if not better than much more pretentious restaurants. It’s a great place for a family outing or for a large group of friends. You might have noticed by now that I’m not into food per say when it comes to restaurants. I’m more into being comfortable and at ease. Let’s face it; we don’t have a great variety of choices in Tartous. What is referred to as international cuisine is all but unknown. If I were really to eat well I’d stay home and enjoy the fruits of Om fares’ labor, or even mine. Or, I would pick my next and final choice.
For driving directions to Nabe’e Hassan and for photos and a more vivid description, please read my earlier post “Nabe’e Hassan on the River Markieh”.
Nabe’e Hassan is rated 1 Star
My rating: 4 Stars

5) Kadmous, Rimal Zahabieh

If you don’t mind feeling as if you’re eating in your own dining room and if you don’t find it a bit strange that an elegant restaurant is collocated at a gas station, but appreciate great salads, meats, chicken and sweets then this is your place. Kadmous offers really great food but totally lacks any character. The service is excellent and so is their very reasonable pricing. My father, a man who never drink anything but water and tea, loves this place for instance. So do the hundreds of summer inhabitants of Rimal Zahabieh. There’s a no-nonsense feel about the setting: We serve good food. If you like that then you’ve come to the right place. They even prepare their own fresh bread which is simply delicious. Strangely enough, it closes down at 7:00PM unless reserved for a special party. By the way, it’s ideal for weddings and similar occasions. The restaurant is located 15 km north of Tartous on the Lattakia highway, right across the road from the Rimal Zahabieh beach.
Kadmous is rated 4 Stars
My rating: 4 Stars

Now that I have completed my tag I truly am too tired to inflict any further damage or pain on anybody else. I needed the writing exercise although I have to admit that my words today certainly lack any punch. I lack any punch. Come tomorrow afternoon I will be a free man (for 36 hours or so). I hope my weekend will really be worth writing about. Until we meet again...

Multiple Personality Disorder

What Famous Leader Are You?
personality tests by similarminds.com

Abufares, 1986

To Arima and all the wonderful ladies out there, apparently, I have the charm of JFK and the brains of Einstein. Or! Could it be the other way around?
According to the online test this is the type of leader I am. According to a tartoussi, I have no leadership qualities or interests whatsoever. The only trait I share with JFK is probably my passion for women. As for Albert, I agree with him that "God does not play dice with the universe".
That obviously makes me more like Pepe Le Pew rather than either of them.

I am tagging Karin, Dubai Jazz and Gray Fox with this one

What Famous Leader Are You? personality tests by similarminds.com

A Tale of Three Cities

I've been tagged by Arima, a woman I've never met, but whose persona is somehow a melange of surreptitious traits found in the three cities I'm describing in this post.

Which city do I love the most in the world?

To choose one city above the rest and aver that I prefer it over all is most certainly a tenuous avowal. I have had the pleasure of living or passing through many fascinating cities over the years and I have had a transient affair with a few. My feelings are better revealed in French through the words of a forgotten laureate: “J’ai des mémoires de villes comme on a des mémoires d’amour”. I have memories of cities as we have memories of love.
My cities were selected by the passion of a whimsical heart rather than the intellect of a well-traveled man. The universal magic and appeal of the famous metropolises would not gain any added benefit from my humble appraisal. However, I owe it to the three cities of my choice to tell the rest of the world about them. I should also make it clear that I do not mind a casual affair with a large city but I would never fall in serious love with one. I am a small town boy and will remain so till the day I die, or to put it more emphatically I am a crude sailor who had spent a great deal of his life in the arms of fashionable damsels but only had one sweetheart all along.
I would be willing, perhaps, to leave Tartous if I had to, and spend the rest of my life in Tripoli of Lebanon, Larnaca of Cyprus or Alicante of Spain.


Tripoli is the twin sister of Tartous. Every real Tartoussi thinks of her as his second home. A distance of 60 km separates the two cities and going there on the spur of the moment to spend the day and return is a long established tradition for us. There is no other Syrian city to take its place in my mind. I know every single street, every neighborhood. I’m welcomed by its shopkeepers and recognized by its everyday amblers. The Tripolitans speak with my accent and share my inherited values. This is the only place in Lebanon where the line between Syrian and Lebanese is almost nonexistent. It’s a beautiful, well-kept city by the sea with a charming boulevard adorned with tall palm trees and an easy going lifestyle. It is home to most of my lifelong friends, those who are scattered today around the globe waiting for better days to return. Tripoli is so much a part of my life, I could never let go.

I have sailed the 110 nautical miles from Tartous to Larnaca one spring afternoon and made harbor and anchored late at night. I stepped out of the boat in the early morning and was immediately engulfed with an ethereal nostalgic feeling. It’s as if I’ve stepped back in time to the Tartous of my childhood yet remained in the present with a vision of how it should have gone. Larnaca is a precious little town on the Mediterranean, full of heritage, of pride, of the simple pleasures that make up a happy life. The adorable promenade is lined with little pubs and restaurants each with its unique identity and lure. It’s absolutely fabulous to be a stranger in Larnaca and learn to love the beautiful island of Cyprus. I’ve spent 11 high-spirited days of my life on that first visit and it’s easy to understand why I always cherish my return. The city has grown since our first meeting but it has, nevertheless, aged with grace and dignity.

It’s perhaps my destiny to reach beautiful cities in the wee hours of the morning and crash into bed. When I woke up in my hotel room in Alicante and took a panoramic view from my balcony of the harbor, the beach, the esplanade and the mountain, I achingly fell in love forever. This is an intelligent and attractive city in the same way a gorgeous woman is. Years ago, the people of Alicante realized the futility of competing with Barcelona as a commercial port. They’ve collectively decided to turn their harbor into a recreational marina to host cruisers, yachts and sailboats from the seven seas and beyond. Nowhere on earth would you ever get a chance to eat fish like they make it in Alicante. A most scrumptious fish of a few kilos is totally covered with coarse salt and baked inside a very hot oven. When it’s taken out and brought to the table, it looks like a giant salt rock. After expertly breaking this solid layer, a steamy delight made of dreams is unraveled and served with a generous flow of wine. The three hour lunch lazily consumes the rest of the day amid laughter and great company. A tourist attraction that has succeeded in not turning whorish, Alicante is the epitome of the most beautiful city by the sea.

I have tremendously enjoyed this special tag and have therefore decided on spreading the word. I am tagging my friends the Syrian Brit, Dubai Jazz and last but not least my dear Karin.

Lady or Knight in Shining Armor

In writing this blog, I was at times propitious to get the initiative for my next post while in fact preparing the current one. But every once in a while, I run dry on ideas only to be saved at the last moment by something which may or may not be worth writing about. It’s naturally expected that the value of my posts fluctuates up and down. There are many variables involved, personal and universal, and they influence me as they do each and every one of you. I have repeatedly claimed that I enjoy listening more than I do talking. Of course it’s the same with writing and reading, and here’s my chance to prove it.

I've decided on the following scheme as far as this post is concerned. I want to have the pleasure of reading what regular or chance readers of this blog think regarding one specific topic. If it works out as foreseen in my head, my prelude is only a catalyst for the comment section which should be rich and colorful with your own contributions rather than mine. I kindly ask you to write whatever comes to your mind as an answer, with as few or as many words you may choose. I believe that this approach is a little more subdued than a direct tag. It’s even possible that I might not take part in commenting at all, although I wouldn't promise.


Perhaps the excitement of reading your reponses sweeps me completely and I would then jump right in. There’s of course the distinct possibility that it might turn out to be a total flop, but anticipation is among the purest of pleasures in life.

Would you please tell me about the man or woman of your dreams. What are you looking for in your ideal partner? What’s there inside, and outside, another human being that you truly love and find irresistible? Who is your other half?

If you'd rather answer 0n your own blog please feel free to do so. Just let us know by dropping a line in the comment section of this post so that we can all go and read it. You want to remain anonymous or use a pseudonym... it’s totally in your hands.

Five Random Links in the Chain

Arima, a blogger I truly like, and a tender, intelligent, outspoken, attractive woman (I’d better stop, my wife might read this after all) has tagged me to list five private things the blogosphere doesn’t know about. I drew up a complete blank at first. Later in the evening, while enjoying a hot shower and washing away the quandaries of the day… a myriad of the little facets that make up my life flowed over with the rivulets of water. I picked five of them, not out of distinction, but for being ordinary random links in the chain, and morphed them into words.


1) At the tender age of five, I left home for the first time to attend a boarding school in Lebanon. For the next five years I was mostly alone and this period undoubtedly shaped my blossoming personality. In retrospect, it certainly made me a very independent and disciplined person in a peculiarly twisted way. My discipline involves daily trivial matters and is absurdly ritualistic. The boarding school also turned me into a rebel and placed me in the middle of a confrontational path with established religious and social norms for the rest of my life. You would expect to find bitterness but there is truly none.


2) I have broken my first bones playing football in 9th grade (a multiple displaced fracture in my left arm). I was a very good goalie at the street tournament level by the way. Over the years I have managed to break my other arm in a car accident, my left knee in a motorcycle crash and my right foot yet again as a goal keeper during a beach soccer game. As thus, I might be classified as accident prone and I had since injured my back on 3 separate occasions, had 4 gunshot pellets removed from my chest in a hunting mishap, received 3 stitches in my chin after a bicycle fall, a twisted finger, a torn ligament, one more wound in the head in another car collision…I have survived, unscathed, sky diving and lived to tell about it. Did I forget anything?


3) My father, a surgeon and a gynecologist for over forty years, and in his effort to steer me toward medicine encouraged me to attend more surgeries than most medical students witness during their professional training. For over six years I have attended, almost daily one operation or more. I have seen everything a general surgeon and a gynecologist have seen. At a certain time, I was confident that, in case of emergency, I could perform a number of procedures flawlessly. When the time came, I told my father that I didn’t want to waste the rest of my life studying for a career. Toward the end of my master’s degree in urban planning, I wished that I would remain a student forever. Was it a wrong decision? There’s no way of telling anymore.


4) I collect knives and to a lesser extent Zippo lighters. I am totally fascinated by beautiful handcrafted folding knives. In my travels I always make sure to buy the local version of the typical pocket knife of the particular region I am at. It’s my preferred gift to receive and to give if I knew that the other person is interested. One of the earliest presents I gave to my girlfriend (later fiancée, eventually Om Fares) was a small black feminine Swiss Army knife. I have quite a fine collection. My most treasured is a French Laguiole cheese and wine folding knife of exquisite craftsmanship. Only last week, a ship sailing from Venice brought me a bubble-wrapped manila envelope. Within, I found a beautiful Maniago knife from a very dear Italian friend.


5) I am a self-proclaimed handyman. If left to my own devise, I would spend more on tools than I would on clothing and food. But there’s Om Fares of course. I like to fix things mechanical and electrical. I don’t make it all the time but my success rate is reasonably high. When something breaks in the house, my wife tries to hide it so that she can call a professional to take care of the problem. Not that she doesn’t trust me, but my insistence on bringing forth my toolbox and getting myself in the correct mood and messing up the whole place doesn’t really impress her in the least. I enjoy working on plumbing in particular and on automobiles. Luckily, modern cars don’t need me anymore. Back when I was a student who could only afford used cars, and when I couldn’t find a date, I would spend the weekend under the hood with a nearby cooler filled with ice-cold beer.

So fellow bloggers, I am sorry if I’ve disappointed you, but these were indeed five things you didn’t know about me. Arima didn’t actually specify that they must be five things people care to hear, so I took the liberty.

All That Jazz

For the past ten years, I have been avoiding the confrontation with the terrible flu through vaccination. The regularity of the seasonal torment confining me to bed for days has almost disappeared. I get through most years without even a stumble. But in the dying throes of 2006, I succumbed to a horrible strike of merciless cold. I’ve been reduced to a lump of aching muscles, mind rendered senseless by the Frankensteinian chemistry of prescribed and over the counter medications. It certainly is obvious that The Cold would and should take its course, but in my case it is primal fear, an embedded instinct to fight this ruthless monster with potions and magical incantations, to not only hit it below the belt, but to rip its goddamn balls off with my own hands, only if I could.
I have finally sighted the faint light at the end of the tunnel. I still hurry to bed, covering myself from head to toe and shiver like a wet puppy every so often. But I am finally sleeping without the intrusion of nightmarish visions and sounds.
I should’ve answered this tag before the knockout, but I had no idea what was in store for me. Thank you Dubai Jazz for catalyzing my resurrection. I needed something like this to get me on track again.

1- Are you a principled person? Or are you pragmatic?
Everyone falls somewhere in between except fools and scoundrels. I am more of a fool. I try to be pragmatic as long as it doesn’t affect my principles. Not succeeding in the first part of the equation all the time is only normal.

2- Do you believe in people or in ideas?
Ideas are the brainchildren of people. In the end, however, I value the novel more than the author. I could care less about the personal eccentricities or the downfalls of those individuals who became great because of their work, because of the ideas they left behind.


3- How good are you in separating what is business from what is personal?
Oh, I am very good at that. When I have to really be objective or when I get to the point where I have to issue a moral choice, I am a professional. Now, I usually do not place myself in such corners. But, if it came down to the wire and I were forced with such a moral choice, even an enemy can be assured that I will be fair to the best of my ability.

4- Do you have role models? How good are you in following their trajectory?
I really don’t. Almost all of my favorites are dead. Besides, almost all of them are writers. Do I wish I could write like them? Sure, why not. Am I going to write like them? Nah, not likely.

5- A British saying goes: “Manners maketh a man”, what else do you think makes a man ‘a Man’?
Word of honor, more so than manners. A man, or a woman for that matter, without a word of honor is worth shit.

6- Do you believe in taking risk? Do you follow your guts feeling? Has it ever failed you?
Taking calculated risks is what separates the men from the boys. Live your life by calculations only and you are either a dull banker or a neurotic accountant. Jumping at risky junctions just for the sake of excitement and you’re not going be around for long to tell about it. I’ve taken many calculated and failed risks, which incidentally make me feel very good about myself.

7- Have you ever been through a ‘paradigm shift’? if not, do you believe that such process exists?
With too little information or with the wrong type of data, one might reach the wrong conclusion(s). I have done that on numerous occasions I believe. But then again, I am not the type of person who jumps to conclusions or make generalizations. I don’t reach moral verdicts easily.

8- Do you believe in unilateral love? Have you ever been through such experience?
Nah, I am not the type. May be as a kid, I have had a crush on some (older) voluptuous pubescent maiden(s), but it was a crush and a crush only. As soon as I developed a vocabulary to match my hormonal reactions, I would make a move. When I was turned away it usually meant the end of any further advances as far as that lass was concerned. There has always been other fish in the sea.

9- How good is your assimilation within your social sphere?
I am perfectly at ease with or without people. I value friends and loved ones and their company tremendously. But at the end of the rope, I enjoy my solitude. It is my belief that nobody can be happy with others if he or she is not happy with themselves.

10- Can you name some of your new year’s resolutions?
Like all celebrities I need to lose some weight. I am afraid that I am way beyond the point of no return as far as perfect physical condition is concerned. But, I wish I could get my weight to 75kg. Am I willing to miss a delicious meal here or cold beer there? I honestly doubt it. But it would be nice nevertheless to look like a mature “jackal”. Since I have no real motive, I am in doubt of any serious result.

Thank you Dubai Jazz for the engaging questions. More importantly, thank you for getting me out of bed. I would very much like to tag ArabLady with these questions.

Ascribo's Tag

I got back after a nine day absence to find a tag awaiting me. I have to thank Ascribo for taking my hand and coercing me to post after this long break. He just posed one seemingly simple question. The answer, as is the case with all intelligent questions, is as complex as it could get. I will try to be as spontaneous as possible, a trait I would very much like to pass on to my own children…

"Which of your qualities you want your child to have, and which of them you do NOT want him to have"

I want my children to be innocent but not naïve, exactly like me. Loyalty to friends, to family, to country and to principles is probably on the top of my better traits and which I consider to be my most valuable possession. I wish for my children to be loyal, to treat their word of honor as if it were of divine origin.
Although, at times, we have: “To prepare a face to meet the faces that [we] meet…” I am a man with one face only. I might rarely mask my emotions out of politeness or dignity, but my eyes are true windows to my soul. If one looks intently enough, he or she can always see my real and only self. I desire that my children are like that.
I have never taken myself or those I am with too seriously. I would not lose my self-respect or jeopardize the self-esteem of others. However, if faced with a pretentious bastard who enjoys playing the patronizing game, he will definitely be the sorry one. He would get a piece of my mind, and he would not like it. Despite the gift of being, in general, a peaceful person, I can turn into a fierce fighter if provoked, in the least, when my honor is at stake. I raise my children this way since I deem that this is a great aspect of my personality.
I believe in the personal freedom of choice. I would not hate a person if she disagrees with me. I would not stand her if she tries to convert me by making me “see her light” or if she is a persistent critic to others. I would like my children to make their own choices and to respect those of others. I fancy them to make their own way and not to follow a paved road, simply because it is less bumpy.
Finally (I need volumes to continue enumerating my “good” traits), I am a content man. I value the things in life I already possess. What I do not have means very little to me. I ask of my children to try to be like that.

My disdain for money in general means that I am not an overly ambitious man. I prefer that my children are, how shall I say it, more driven than I am. They should be less compromising when it comes to their personal materialistic comfort.
At times, I am too stubborn to realize what is good for me and for those around me. Once I set sails I loath any change in the direction of the wind. I should be more flexible and sensitive to the continuous alterations of the variables of life. I hope that my children can overcome this inherent shortcoming.
My patience runs thin when it shouldn’t or I maintain it for too long when there is no more reason to. It is a timing fault which I have failed to remedy. I prefer that my children’s mood be more consistent.
I am not an assertive person. Privately, within the chambers of my mind, I know that I am a very intelligent person and that I am grossly underrated. If I were not as spontaneous as I actually am, I would not have even written this last sentence. I crave that my children should promote themselves more lucratively.
I hope that my children turn out to be more focused than I am. I can easily get distracted and in doing so drop many potential possibilities. When the goal is of any material manifestation I often tend to lose interest if I find myself needing to ask for a favor or a shove to help me climb the ladder. I would call it a day and convince myself that nothing is really worth it after all. Nowadays, and in the future, a more cooperative and compromising stand would certainly be more fruitful in the end. I want my children to go all the way, even if it means that they should be “nicer”.
As is the case with my positive attributes there certainly are plenty of deficiencies in my personality. I see no reason why I should continue with this unconstructive babble about myself. I only desire that my children find their own way while standing tall, today and tomorrow.

A Műnchner Tag to a Tartoussi

My friend Karin wanted to get back at me after I tagged her last week. She assembled some 10 very straightforward questions and threw them in my face. However, hidden between the lines is her desire to learn more about "moi" and the other poor souls she chose to tag. The questions might look simple but they have ulterior motives. Thank you Karin for tagging me. Here's what you wanted to know (probably a little bit more as well).

1) Was there any incident in your life which you feel, influenced you in particular?

Any life is a result of a series of incidences. Stepping on thorns agonized, smelling roses satisfied, eating honey fulfilled, fumbling down scared, climbing up tired, mopping sweat, shaking off dirt, drinking from a spring, floating in a sea, tending a cut to heal, shaken with cold, estranged in emptiness, I’ve been through it all on the different trails that got me to where I am right now. Some of these incidents might be deeply buried in my subconscious (i.e. a boarding school) or as obvious and painful as the loss of my mother. What made me a different man, however, was becoming a father.

2) What are you afraid of? Please name at least ONE example!

I’m afraid for my children more than anything else in the world. I’m not a worrier at all. But, when I’m not feeling normal and am looking for something further to drag me down with it, I worry about my kids. I usually succeed in shaking it off as quickly as it hits me.

3) Is there any nature-event, you particularly like (i.e. thunderstorm, rain, snow ect.)?

I love fall and winter and I love how nature manifests itself during these seasons. A thunderstorm has a magical way of comforting me. Rain excites all of my senses, I love the sound, the smell, the site, the taste and the feel of rain on my face. I get the weird urge to don my raincoat and step out in the rain to go SHOPPING. I usually hate shopping for anything. However, once it’s raining, I like to walk in the evening streets and stare at the stores’ fronts for something to buy. I would buy whatever can be enjoyed back in the shelter of my home (a book, a bottle of wine or a toy most probably).

4) What kind of sport (if any) are you fond of or even actively pursue?

I am a great fan of European Football. I watch all the major leagues and probably have a favorite club in each. I was a goalie once. Now I’m more into Foosball (I have a full regulation size table in my basement where I enjoy playing with friends). I love Formula 1 and am a great admirer of Michael Schumacher. I am an avid hunter. I also love to watch women playing sports, in particular (Tennis and Volleyball are my favorites). I like the flying miniskirts and the sweaty tight shorts, really.

5) Do you easily get nervous or upset? "Blow up"?

Ah, I don’t like this one because sometimes I do. What’s bothering me is that I wasn’t like that before. I’m a very easy going type of person, but more and more I tend to need to get some steam out. Nothing of the serious stuff, I would just blow smoke. In reality, I’m a very peaceful person. I’m even faster at forgiving and forgetting.

6) Do you dread getting older? Feel the biological clock ticking?

I don’t dread aging but I don’t like some of the usual symptoms that go along with it. The chances in personality and perspective are what worry me. Everywhere I look I find that older people usually hold a mysterious grudge. There’s always something to complain about. Somebody needs to take the blame. I’m afraid of turning out to be like that.

7) Are you more a city-person or prefere the country-side?

I’m the furthest thing form a city-person. Even Tartous is too big for my taste. I love the countryside. I love open and empty spaces. To wake up in the middle of nowhere, to step out of the front door naked or semi-naked (I don’t want to scare away the wildlife) to yawn and stretch. My right place is outdoors without a roof over my head.

8) Do you allow any kind of fashion to rule over your taste?

No way. I’m the antithesis of fashion. I’m one of the worst dressed people I know. But, these people don’t know my secret. I wear the most comfortable clothes and shoes in the world. Summer clothing should be just decent but as little as possible. For the cold, of course I have a favorite coat, something that I will continue wearing for years. Anyway, I'm so handsome if I were a sharp dresser too I would've been an overkill.

9) Are you more on the introverted or extroverted side?

My mood is affected by where I am. If I’m at a place which I consider comfortable, I am a very open person and the opposite is definitely true. Same with people of course.

10) If you'd have to characterize yourself with one sentence - what would you say?

I am a very honest and simple man who made more choices than he would’ve cared to but still found himself happy in the end.

I am Tagging Everyone

I would like to tag every single reader of my blog. If you feel up to it, post these questions along with your replies on your blog and drop me a comment here so that I go and read what you have to say. Consider it a personal invitation to get to know each other more intimately. If you find one or more of the following questions of no value, it would be my mistake not yours. Thank you.

1. Which is the single best post you’ve read on any blog? Please provide link.

2. Which is the best post you’ve written? Which is your worst? Please provide links.

3. How about a place you’ve never been to but would very much like to see.

4. If you were a member of the opposite sex, what would you have done differently?

5. Do you remember a childhood recurrent dream or nightmare? Good or bad, tell us about it.

6. Make me laugh or make me cry, put your words to use.

7. Do you regret the unfulfilled dreams, the inaccessible roads, the uncharted lands?

8. What is a friend to you? And what are you to a friend?

9. T.S. Eliot measured his life with coffee spoons, how about you?

10. Write your own epitaph, or if that is too hard, how would you like your epitaph to read?

Tagged by a Friend

My dear friend Karin tagged me. I didn't have any idea what it meant at first. I though she's after my body. But then she explained. She posted questions and I had to answer them. So here we go Karin. I will surprise you with my tag...


Q- Are you happy/satisfied with your blog with its content and look?

A- Sometimes I feel good about a particular post. Sometime I don’t. The look I don’t care much about. I want my blog to be as easy to read as possible. That’s what I care about most.

Q- Does your family know about your blog?

A- They all know about it. Do they read it? That’s a different question. Sometimes they do though.

Q- Do you feel embarrassed to let your friends know about your blog or you just consider it as a private thing?

A- I’m not easily embarrassed. I’m the kind of person who might, just might, be uncomfortable in front of strangers. But embarrassed in front of my friends! Never.

Q- Did blogs cause positive changes in your thoughts?

A- Of course. I enjoy reading the blogs of others as much as I enjoy writing mine. Even if I don’t agree with the argument of a fellow blogger, the exchange of ideas and opinions is always beneficial.

Q- Do you only open the blogs of those who comment on your blog or you love to go and discover more by yourself?

A- I have several links on my blog and these are the ones I start my day with. Then, I usually check on http://www.syplanet.com/ quickly to see if anybody has something “new” to say. And, when I’ve finished working for the day, I try my luck with some random picking of a few blogs. I stumble on real gems every once in a while.

Q- What does visitors counter mean to you? Do you care about putting it in your blog?

A- I like to know how many people read my blog. The counter also helps me confirm that a particular post wasn’t that great after all. I like the fact that my readers have increased steadily since I first started blogging. These numbers I consider as a private kick in the butt or a tap on the shoulder.

Q- Did you try to imagine your fellow bloggers and give them real pictures?

A- Those I care to read, certainly. The guys are often burly and the girls extremely sexy.

Q- Admit. Do you think there is a real benefit for blogging?

A- It’s a hobby at least. I also appreciate the fact that I can publish my posts and that there are actually people out there, who might or might not know me personally, but still make a daily visit and either read or skim through my words. I feel honored by the comments my readers leave. They didn’t only dedicate part of their time to read me, but they also took the trouble of commenting. If from nothing else, I’m benefiting in this aspect.

Q- Do you think that bloggers society is isolated from real world or interacts with events?

A- Not at all. Every person who writes, whether personal scribbles or a deep anthology on the meaning of life is contributing in his/her own way to the pop culture of today, eventually to the history of mankind.

Q- Does criticism annoy you or do you feel it's a normal thing?

A- Criticism doesn’t annoy me. Critical people annoy me.

Q- Do you fear of some political blogs and avoid them?

A- There’s nothing to fear but fear itself. I avoid many political blogs because, see above answer: Critical people annoy me.

Q- Did you get shocked by the arrest of some bloggers?

A- I think every human being has the right to say what’s on his/her mind without fear of being arrested, harassed, molested or ridiculed.

Q- Did you think about what will happen to your blog after you die?

A- It occurred to me, sure. I was thinking about the thousands of personal files on my PC. Then my thoughts took me to who will be able to start my PC without the password if I’m dead. Then came the contemplation of how would a reader who doesn’t personally know me ever hear of my death. I think this is more funny than sad.

Q- What do you like to hear? What's the song you like to put its link in your blog?

A- I love the music theme of M*A*S*H. It takes me to personal times and places. It’s my ringtone on my mobile phone and I wouldn’t mind it to be the background music of my blog. There are a few songs I never tire of hearing: Hotel California (Eagles), Father & Son (Cat Stevens), Dust in the Wind (Kansas), Home by the Sea (Genesis), Hey You (Pink Floyd), Nights in White Satin (Moody Blues), The Best of Times (Styx), Child in Time (Deep Purple) and a few more…

Q- Five bloogers to be the next "victims"?

A- I will do it soon, with my own questions tough, stay tuned.