In Love with a PC

I bought my first computer, a Timex Sinclair 1000 in 1982. It had a membrane keyboard, Black & White NTSC output, a whopping 2 KB of RAM and weighed in at hefty 12 oz. Since then, I have never been caught alone without a computer. If I am not mistaken, the laptop I'm caressing with my fingers right now is the 9th I've had in the ensuing 27 years and she is the first girl in the bunch.

At my age one would assume that I should be making more sense than to genderize machines but I have always looked at them as personal friends. I have started my blog on a Toshiba Satellite laptop. We became very close over the last few years and I have entrusted him with all of my secrets, big and small. Yes, he's a boy and he has a name too but as of late he's been sick and started showing his age. I knew that he's not going to last forever but it was so hard for me to think of, simply, putting him to sleep. Recently he made two visits to Damascus and Aleppo for maintenance. When my hopes became very slim of his full recovery I started my online search for a new laptop. A good friend of mine suggested a MacBook Pro. I was really tempted but remained hesitant. I was never attached to Windows per say but I did find the Mac aficionados a little on the wacko side. Their loyalty and fierce defense of their platform and operating system were too much for me to come to terms with. Besides, I have a love/hate relationship with my iPhone already and didn't think I can handle the pair of them. You know my iPhone reminds me of a show dog rather than a good field pointer. It's beautiful to look at and pet on a couch but it wouldn't stand a chance in today's demanding work environment. The Apple milieu lacked that real world feeling to me and whether smartly or not I opted for a Windows 7 machine. After several days of searching I found exactly what I was looking for and a week thereafter she arrived from Dubai. An HP DV3 13.3” beauty with embedded patterns on her dark blue skin. It was love at first sight and so far I'm truly impressed with the stellar performance of …. (yes she already has a name of course) and Windows 7 in general.

My private online time is a significant part of my life. I say that without apology or regret. I'm still using three PC's (1 desktop and 2 laptops) for work and play. However, with the arrival of my new HP I made a wise and long overdue decision. I moved my personal stuff strewn here and there and entrusted her with all. Will I enjoy the travel of her keys and the touch of her screen when my fingers dance over her body? Will she appreciate the words I type for all to read and my most secret thoughts for her eyes only?

This is our first blog together and we're already dancing to the tune of love!

Read

"The universe shines a little more dimly now."
Dave Eicher on the occasion of Carl Sagan's death

My reading preferences follow the bends of a space-time continuum. A commended book is kept for the opulence of my bed or the ecstasy of my solitude on a secluded beach. I blissfully surf the web for my favorite pages at the small table in my bedroom or at my own private office early in the morning or in the after-hours.
Science fiction and modern literary novels are surely my preferred forms of reading. I value the classics of science fiction and I overtly revere the grand masters like Jules Verne, Frank Herbert, Isaac Asimov and Arthur C. Clarke. Through their feral and unbridled imagination they had expanded the horizon of generations and had set the course for thousands and thousands of hungry minds in the pursuit of their dream of becoming scientists. Circuitously, their work influenced the rapid and wondrous space exploration feats of the 20th century. My fascination with science fiction inevitably guided me to become an avid disciple of a single form of non-fiction reading. Science in general and astronomy and the related physics in particular became my quotidian hobby of interest. One day I came across Cosmos by Carl Sagan (1934-1996) and my outlook on life and my assessment of my self changed forever on a deep and profound level. I had never since read a book by a mortal, as encompassing, as true and as timeless as Cosmos.

In modern literary fiction I have acquired a taste for aesthetics and opened my mind to the supremacy of words and the splendor of creativity. Although I have started reading at a very early age, I deem that I had barely wetted my cerebral toes before I came across the modern American novel. My freshman extra-curricular repertoire was heavily weighed by my initial exposure to the writings of Irwin Shaw, John Irving, Joseph Heller and Irving Wallace to name but a few. I was twenty two when Bread Upon the Waters was published. Strangely I found myself enthralled with the main character, a middle-aged professional man by the name of Mr. Strand. Is it a mere coincidence or was it an occult prophesy that twenty five years, a marriage and three kids later my life is paralleling that of Strand? To have faced and still face the very same conflicts of a character in a novel, a figment of imagination conceived in the mind of the son of Russian Jewish immigrants to America (Irwin Shaw 1913 -1984). Is it another fluke or an oracle that Irwin Shaw and I share the same birthday?
The transitory reading raids of random sites and blogs takes place in between writing or responding to work-related emails during my morning job. I have also become absurdly addicted to the laxative effect of the casual perusal of Arabic magazines in the bathroom. The combination of religiously grave portents and tastelessly whorish editorials within the folds of a single publication greatly facilitates my bowel movement. I often revert to re-reading interviews with “average” people in shopping malls about their feelings and attitudes toward, say, mixed working environments (men and women sharing the same office) or the interpretation of dreams by some devout and omnipotent witch. I come across things during these escapades, disturbing things no less. I have learned for instance that in the absence of aesthetic accountability a deranged man or a disturbed woman with pens in their hands can wreak havoc on simple and unsuspecting minds. The percentage of readers in the Arab world is among the lowest on the planet. Tragically, those who read are more likely to be aficionados of idiotic astrology, imbecilic dream interpretation and regurgitated religious books. In Dubai, where any whore, blonde or brunette, any Scotch, single-malted or blended, any religious book, interpretative or foretelling can be found on a street corner, a luxurious hotel or a superficial bookstore, my friend had to place on order and wait for 7 weeks to receive an Arabic copy of Samarcande by Amin Maaloof. I click page after page of Arabic absurdity on blogs written supposedly by the crème de la crème in our society, on Masturbation in Ramadan, on the God-ordained obligation of Hijab, on the correctness of shaking hands between men and women, on Fatwas (Islamic decrees) to kill the infidels (not agreeing that Hijab is a God-ordained obligation might be considered as a manifestation of infidelity).
As I further withdraw into my own world of enlightenment, enchantment and learning a lingering pain disturbs my serenity. My children’s intellect deteriorates in the confines of an archaic school system. Their dilemma is further compounded by a severe draught of humanitarianism in prevalent literature and even in the amusing entertainment they are being exposed to. They have no real and valid choices anymore. A teenage girl’s role model is either or. A bitchy hot performer or a shapeless veiled nobody. She is being brainwashed with obsolete ideas. Ideas that we had as a society convincingly and fully overcome in the late 40’s and 50’s of the last century only to discover with dismay that like fungi they are reemerging in the shadows of darkness.
I struggle as a parent to bring up normal children in a decaying swamp. Although my adversaries have insignificant intellect they possess formidable power nonetheless. My lot in life is to compete with men and women who, according to them, have God Almighty on their side or with men and women who look like Mohannad and Roula Saad vying for my kids’ attention. How can I convince them to read something which admittedly was not written by God himself if it doesn’t contain any sexy photos of handsome studs and gorgeous chicks? How can this and the next generations escape? We have left them high and dry in the hands of God or low and wet amid the breasts and thighs of Haifa, Dana and Melissa.

Leisure Suit Larry

The year was 1983. I had just completed my Master’s degree in urban planning after publishing my thesis. The text was entirely written and printed out using the university’s main frame computer. This was the Pre-PC era and the most advanced piece of hardware to hit the market till then was the scientific calculator. I don’t quite remember how it came about but I was fascinated by a new gadget, a small computer called the Sinclair. It measured about 25x20X4 cm and had a membrane keyboard. Well the whole thing was a membrane keyboard really with an external AC adapter and a cable to connect to a black & white TV. Oh yeah, there’s one more thing I forgot to mention, a regular cassette player was needed to load the programs before the Sinclair can run them. There were no floppy drives yet, let alone hard disks. The reason I bought this peculiar piece of electronics was to play a game. Not any game but one in particular, a flight simulator. I was fascinated by flying then, as I still am, although I was actually working as a commercial pilot and a flight instructor. Still, I would’ve not wanted to spend any time on the ground without my primeval flight simulator. Come to think of it now, it was a piece of shit, but I loved every minute I’ve spent fiddling with the damn thing and pushing desperately against the un-responding membrane to avoid that inevitable fatal crash.
In 1986, I climbed my way up the ladder and bought a Commodore 64, attached yet to another cassette recorder before the blessing/curse of God and Bill Gates brought us MS-DOS and eventually Windows 3.11. Whatever your age might be you must know the rest, Windows and the PC became the most prevalent software/hardware IT combination. I followed the herd and remained an obedient and faithful user of this platform since I bought my first real PC, a Compaq Pentium 90 in 1994.
I’ve done my fair share of work on computers but was never a keen gamer per say. I was obsessed briefly with a few games over the years. They were mostly flight simulators, and in particular those involved with the aerial warfare and aircraft of the Second World War. I remember another extremely absorbing game by the name of Commando. It, too, evolved around WWII. I played it for a few months until I completed all 20 missions. That’s about it; I mean my PC gaming experience… except for Larry.

“Leisure Suit Larry is the [cartoon] title character of a series of adult adventure games written by Al Lowe and published by Sierra On-Line from the 1980s to the present. The character, whose full name is Larry Laffer, is a balding, dorky, double entendre-speaking, leisure suit-wearing (but still somewhat lovable) "loser" in his 40s who spends much of his life trying (usually unsuccessfully) to seduce attractive women.” * Leisure Suit Larry in the Land of the Lounge Lizards first appeared in 1987 (DOS) and was later remade in 1991. It was the first commercially successful sex video game to be ever produced. It was followed by 5 more titles before the bona fide masterpiece finally appeared in 1996 under the title of Leisure Suit Larry 7: Love for Sail!. This was the first one I was introduced to in the series. I later returned to the roots and played the older versions, but nothing, absolutely nothing, ever compares to Love for Sail. As far as I, and millions of other players, are concerned, this is the best video game of all ages. I, role-playing Larry Laffer, have managed over months of total absorption and perseverance to a hilariously funny and wittingly sexy video game to get all the women on board the cruise ship in the sack, culminating my fornicating frenzy by screwing Captain Thighs herself.

The general line of the game is to live the adventures of Larry as he fails but keep trying to convince gorgeous women to have sex with him. It’s very tricky to do so if you have Larry Laffer’s looks and manners. You have to depend entirely on your cunning, patience and luck to get women to simply take a second look at you. When you finally score you have all the right in the world to celebrate. I used to do just that, celebrate the occasion by placing the picture of my trophy on my desktop.
3 years ago, a friend of mine who knows about my affinity to Larry and who lives on the other side of the world sent me the perfect gift. The “still” latest edition: Leisure Suit Larry Magna Cum Laude. The main character’s name is still Larry, but it’s Larry Lovage this time, Laffer’s nephew. Here is what it says on the 4-CD box. “Help Larry Earn a BA in T&A. With gorgeous coeds everywhere, college dweeb Larry Lovage is chasing around more than his diploma. He’s trying to live up to the legend of his uncle Larry Laffer, everyone’s favorite polyester playboy.” Now here’s the funny part, I have this game for 3 years and I haven’t played or even installed it yet. I feel a little down that it’s the nephew rather than the uncle. I’m also wondering where I will find the free time to play it. As I’m traveling a couple of times per month and staying overnight in lonely hotel rooms, I’m planning on giving myself and Larry a chance. With a wife and three kids, all armed with mobile phones and an insatiable appetite to know all the details of my life away from home, Larry is my only chance to wag my tail and have some forbidden fun.
Guys, if you like gaming, fun and sex, and even if you’re having the real thing… Give Larry a chance. I can’t yet recommend Larry 8 and would rather wait until I give it a shot. But, Leisure Suit Larry 7: Love for Sail!. is the best adult video game ever produced. Don’t let the fact that it’s 12 years old fool you. Like a classic Charlie Chaplin, Larry is forever funny.

* Wikepedia

Bakaloria

The present Syrian school system traces its origins to the French occupation period. Back in the 1940’s it was, no doubt, a great one, and those who had received their secondary school diploma then and later on into the early 1960’s were among the best high school graduates in the world. But since science and technology (and even literature) have not stood still but perpetually kept moving forward, any educational system must follow suit or risks becoming an obsolete and outdated burden on the minds of students and teachers alike. This is exactly where we are today in Syria with the Bakaloria National Exam, coming up on Sunday the 3rd of June.

This stringent, archaic and futile test is a make or break milestone in the lives of Syrian youth. At their final and 12th year of schooling they encounter the toughest obstacle of their entire lives. Here they are, at the tender age of 17 or 18, coming face to face with a dinosaur, which for all practical purposes should have become extinct by now. For the last year they have been reading and memorizing book after book totally lacking in imagination. They are not required to display any intelligence or creativity. As a matter of fact, the system discourages any personal inventiveness by heavily penalizing the student who strays out of the bounds of the one and only approved text. The punishment is exerted by the deduction of points, which in the end determine the future vocation and career of the applicant.

I will briefly describe the Syrian Bakaloria (Science Option) for the benefit of the lucky ones who have not gone through with this ordeal before. From June 3rd till the 25th, Syrian students will embark on a unified national exam. The questions are shrouded in secrecy and speculation runs rampant amongst students, teachers and parents as to their “nature”. Some teachers have made a good living out of guessing what the questions on any one particular subject will be for this year’s edition. The books have been revised very slowly over the years and the committees assigned to put forth the questions have to dig deep into their twisted minds and souls to come up with a new way of screwing up the kids. Bakaloria teachers in every single school of the country have lifted themselves up a pedestal, usually reserved for Nobel Prize Laureates. Over their entire careers, they have mastered a book or two to the point where they can probably read it backward. For this achievement, they have come to believe that they are the greatest gift to humanity. They will not waste their talents in the classroom of the free Syrian schools. Instead, they will give private lessons at their homes for exuberant fees. A well reputed mathematics Bakaloria teacher in Syria earns more than a competent physician, a profession deemed as the pinnacle of achievement by many students and parents alike.

The total exam score is 260 points and the grades are divided in the following manner:

Natural Science and Biology: 30
Religious Education: 20
English: 30
Mathematics: 60
National Socialist Education: 20
Arabic: 40
Physics: 40
Chemistry: 20
===========
Total: 260

The grade for Religious Education is dropped from the total, but the students have to pass it anyway (if one fails in 2 subjects he or she has to repeat the entire year of agony and pain). Now, here comes the interesting part. A fortnight after the exam is over, the result is announced nationally. The grades achieved by a student determine what college he or she can attend and it goes something like this (exact numbers vary every year):

Medical School= 235/240
Pharmacy= 230/240
Dentistry= 225/240
Civil Engineering= 220/240
.
.
.
and so on downward a scale created by psychotic minds but which nevertheless has gained the validity of a true religion year after year of almost sacred adherence. So, and for the sake of argument, let’s suppose that a particular student wanted to become a pharmacist when she grows up (she must be a little weird at 17) and studied hard and long for the entire year, took the Bakaloria exam and ended up with 229/240 instead of 230/240, then what you might ask. OK, very simple, repeat the damn year and hope that she gets one more stupid point on the National Socialist Education question, without losing any new point on something else, like Arabic poetry for instance. Am I serious, you bet I am, and you know I am. Well more recently, say in the last 4 or 5 years, a new option has become available in Syria, private universities. Are they a good option? Sure, they are great, if you have the money to pay your way. I would daresay that about 5% of the Syrian population can afford this option.

Here I am, at this junction in life when my eldest child, my sweetheart Diana, is less than 48 hours away from her Bakaloria exam. I’m sorry Diana for the Pharmacist joke but I couldn’t resist the temptation. To make matters a little bit more complicated, I’m leaving to Europe on business on the very first day she enters the examination room. I will hear from her on my way to the airport in Damascus how she fared on her Natural Science and Biology exam. By the time I return, she would have crossed the halfway point. Again, Diana, I’m sorry I wouldn’t be here beside you during this grueling period but you know that I have to go. I wish you, your friends and everybody out there taking the Bakaloria the best of luck. I also wish that someday, those in charge of the future of the younger generations come to their senses and turn the system upside down in Syria and wherever educational terrorism is still prevalent.

Only after going through 12 long years of bullshit will you ever appreciate Pink Floyd’s “We Don’t Need No Education.”

Until I'm back, or at the first opportunity I can blog again, I wish you all the best of times.

Your Horoscope for May

Aries March 21-April 19
After having lived a life of sin and temptation, your health deteriorates rather rapidly. With the waning of the moon you are admitted to hospital. The costly ordeal devastates you financially. Just when you think you are getting out of this slump, you are hit by a runaway truck.


Taurus April 20-May 20
You are in deep trouble. The Moon and Alpha Centauri are perfectly aligned in relation to the M33 Galaxy. Your life gets more miserable as you go on. There is nothing worth living for. Your partner leaves you, so will your parents, friends and neighbors. Shoot the dog before it bites you.


Gemini May 21-June 21
May is obviously not your best month. You will be plagued by different problems at home. Avoid contacts with all humans if possible. Do not argue with your superiors or inferiors at work. With the present asynchronous motion of heavenly objects, it is very probable that you are going to get fired on Thursday the 3rd.



Cancer June 22-July 22
One of your best friends betrays you. Distraught and having lost your faith in humanity, you will further succumb into depression. You are destined to become an alcoholic. A clash with the police is imminent. Avoid using electrical kitchen appliances as you might sever a finger or a whole extremity.


Leo July 23-August 22
Precisely every 42 years, the Emission Nebula (M42) and the Reflection Nebula (NGC 7023) continue to have nothing to do with each other. As thus, the effect on Leo is significant. Your appeal to the opposite sex will fade rapidly and you attract members of your same sex like flies are attracted to a discarded muffin. You will be unreservedly humiliated.


Virgo August 23-September 22
Once you believe that you’ve got it made, you are in for one huge disappointing surprise. All your property is confiscated, your rights violated and your food regurgitated. You will be homeless in the streets and eat out of soup kitchens for the rest of the year. Your unlucky days are Sunday, Monday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday and Saturday. As for Tuesday, it really sucks.


Libra September 23-October 22
A mass murderer appears in the horizon in the second week of May. You will fall in love with him (regardless of your sex). Eventually both of you will be cornered in a place of worship by a SWAT team. The mass murderer will miraculously escape. Unfortunately, it is very unlikely that these snipers could miss two targets on the same mission.


Scorpio October 23 - November 21
While walking on a busy street a snake bites you. The pain is unspeakable. The agony is unbearable. The anguish is insurmountable. You will never be the same again. If you are single you will never get married. If you are married you will get a divorce. Nobody likes you anymore. You are utterly undesirable until the end of the third quarter.


Sagittarius November 22-December 21
Jupiter will screw you up, again. While on a long-awaited dinner date at a very expensive restaurant with what you thought is the most desirable person in the world you will throw up on the table. After the convulsions seize you realize that your date has left you alone and has taken your wallet. You wash dishes for the rest of the week.


Capricorn December 22-January 19
A recurring dream will drive you insane. You are in bed with George W. Bush who’s dressed in a flimsy piece of lingerie. You try to break free but he holds you tight and showers you with wet kisses. When he pins you down and tries to… you wake up sweating and gasping for air. On the night of May 21st or 22nd, you will jump out of the window and probably kill yourself.


Aquarius January 20-February 18
Solar winds will shake you profoundly in May. Nothing seems to be going right for you anymore. You will be dealt a hard blow. Migraines will taunt you for the rest of your unhappy life. You might feel better by mid May, but then it’s all downhill again.



Pisces February 19-March 20
Nothing is what it seems to be. What has started as a simple rash develops into something far more serious. The dermatologist refuses to even touch you as your case is highly contagious. You will live in exile on a secluded island where eventually you will be eaten by a hungry alligator. The alligator later dies of indigestion (around August).


Well, if you normally believe this horoscope crap, my word is as good as any. By the way, I can read your palm and the tarots too.

Solar Energy & Haifa Wehbe

On my first trip to the beautiful island of Cyprus in 1986, the second thing to catch my eye, after the stunning rendezvous of mountain and sea, was the omnipresent solar panels for water heating on the roofs of buildings.
I inquired then, and was told that solar energy for water heating was required by law and that it was a part of the building code.
I had spent 11 days during that first visit, mostly in Larnaca, Limassol and Aya Napa. I also had a chance to spend a nice afternoon in Nicosia. To get there from Larnaca, I followed a picturesque mountain road to the inlands. Everywhere I went, the panels haunted me. These Cypriots knew something long before many others around the sunny Mediterranean knew, the real value of the sun.

Twenty years later, here in Tartous, barely 90 km to the east of Cyprus, the satellite dishes on the roofs of our buildings outnumber the solar heating systems by a ratio of 100 to 1. I have been following up on this subject for quiet some time. All over Syria, the least used source for heating water is the sun. In rural areas, people prefer to burn wood or if they feel like upgrading they would buy a diesel fuel burning contraption to heat their water. In cities and major urban areas heating water is accomplished through:

44% Burning of diesel fuel (direct)
40% Electricity
10% Diesel fuel Burner/boiler central heating systems
4% Propane gas
2% Solar energy

Now with this kind of numbers, you would confuse Syria with Siberia or other oil rich regions of the northern latitudes where there’s plenty of fossil fuel and too little sunshine. The truth of the matter is that Syria is not an oil producing country and that according to most recent statistics enjoys 306 sunny days per year. That’s right; the sun alone can heat water in our houses for all but 59 days per year that is 10 months out of 12.

There are different systems available on the market varying in sophistication, efficiency and cost. I will describe the typical, locally manufactured, simple and cheap system. It also happens that this is the system most suitable for the needs of the average family. A typical system would require a couple of hours of sunshine to provide 300 liter of water at (+55°C = 130°F). A simple system means zero maintenance and no operating know-how required. Such a system would sell for about SP30,000 or roughly US$600. For a family of five, the recommended capacity of 300 liter is ideal.

The basic solar heating system consists primarily of a series of panels and an insulated 300 liter water tank. Supply water is fed to the higher tank from one side which in turn is connected to the lowest part of the inclined heating panels. There are usually 3 connected panels of about 2 sq.m. each. The individual panel is a rectangular box measuring roughly 1 by 2 m with a height of 15 cm (6”). The 3 panels are laid side by side at an angle of 45° facing south (depending on the location’s latitude) so that they absorb as much of the sun’s rays for the longest possible time. The bottom of the box is a thin metallic reservoir painted in black. The box is covered by glass and firmly sealed. When the rays of the sun hit the black surface the water inside is heated rapidly. The glass permits the sunrays and traps the heat inside exactly like a greenhouse does. The enclosed volume of air can get very hot indeed and further accelerates the heating of the water within the black thin reservoir. The panels are connected from the top back to the 300 liter insulated tank. Following the basic laws of nature, as water is heated it becomes lighter and travels to the higher tank. The colder water in the tank, being heavier, moves by its own accord to the lower part of the system or to the panels. This flow of water will continue until the temperature is one and the same at the panels and in the tank, or scientifically speaking until the system reaches equilibrium. The discharge outlet, the one that goes into the house itself (baths and kitchen) is usually located on the other side of the tank, opposite to the supply feed and the connection to the panels. A water mixer in the bathroom receives and mixes this hot water with the cold water supply as per preference and the user enjoys absolutely free hot water. As long as the sun shines it will continue to heat the water. After sunset, the hot water inside the insulated tank can and will last, depending on use until the next morning. So not only are we getting free hot water, we are also getting it around the clock. The system also includes an electrical heating element inside the insulated tank for those 59 cloudy days where the sun does not shine enough to heat the water.

A system such as the one described above has an average life expectancy of 15 to 20 years depending on the quality of manufacturing before corrosion and the elements take the better hold of it. It would be wise then to either replace it all or carry out a total refurbishing. So the average cost for heating the water needed by a family of five is roughly US$40 per year. The electrical alternative costs at least 500% more, the diesel burner/boiler 350%.

I have not even mentioned the positive impact on the environment if everybody switched to solar energy. What bothers me most, however, is that acquiring a building permit in any Syrian locale requires approved plans from the Order of Syrian Engineers. The required drawings include architectural, civil, mechanical and electrical scaled drawings. The Order of Engineer requests the mechanical drawing to be a schematic of a heating system: burner/boiler/radiators known locally as Chauffage. Can you imagine that! In a country where we have more sunshine than even government bullshit, there is no legislation, no mandate, no law, no code addressing the need to utilize cheap solar energy.

Cyprus didn’t only open my eyes to its own beauty but made me realize “even more” the stupidity and the awkwardness of our approach to the most simple of issues. We have the kind of government which can enforce almost anything. I mean at one time, long gone by now, we were forced to buy car mats when we purchased a Barada refrigerator from the Mouassaseh (The Government retail Outlet Store). Would it be that difficult really to make it mandatory to install solar heating systems on the roofs of buildings? It will go something like this: if you want to buy a dish for satellite TV viewing you’d have to also buy a solar water heating system. Only then can we enjoy the likes of Haifa, Dana and Dominique and take a hot shower. Oops, I guess what’s needed afterward is a cold shower. That explains why we don’t make enough use of the abundant solar energy over here and around.

The Mavericks of Technology

My office window is literally an opening to the little universe around me. At times of little or no work, I find myself staring aimlessly at the outside world. So it came as a shock to me when I counted over twenty satellite dishes in a range of a stone throw from my desk. Three decades ago, these dishes could only be seen in space observatories or science fiction movies. Now they are so commonplace that the apathetic eye could see hundreds of them without registering any impression.

Thousands of viewing choices are accessible to any one individual in the world today. Sadly, many of the more useful channels are encrypted so that a certain amount of hard-earned cash needs to be spent for the privilege of viewing. In days gone by, the high seas were the theater of battles between “legitimate” carriers and pirates. Technology revived these terms, although the nomenclature is dictated by the “haves” as opposed to the “have-nots”. Real pirates, in my opinion, are in it solely for the money. The Internet, however, has diminished their profit. The argument about pirating, especially when it comes to “software and digital media” has always been one-sided. Remember, money talks, and very loudly. Yet, pirates, or mavericks if we want to use a less biased term, persist. There is a simple reason behind this fact and that is they are performing a needed function.

Presently, many of these rebels are driven not by monetary benefit but rather by the challenge of breaking the code, so to speak. Millions of PC users around the world could’ve never entered the digital revolution were it not for pirated software. Lawyers and copyright zealots could argue all they want about loss of revenue and eventually higher costs, but the simple and plain truth is that piracy has broadened the base and allowed disadvantaged groups to get on the bandwagon. Let’s face it, software is ridiculously expensive and beyond the reach of the majority of humanity. In Damascus, a small underground store (it is literally underground and located in a tunnel) is frequented by Westerners from different diplomatic missions. They buy tons of software for virtually a fraction of the original cost. It’s not only the poor who endorse free software but the rich as well, as long as they don’t get caught that is. In the satellite TV business, the operators give a choice. The viewer could either watch stupid shit and get bombarded with advertisement for free, or pay a premium fee for a good movie, a top level football game or a worthwhile documentary. These channels use the latest in encryption technology to insure that nobody gets a free ride. The laws devised by highly paid solicitors are in favor of the broadcasters. Like it or not, rich or poor, everyone has to abide.

Thus came about a new breed of pirates, or mavericks, on the world scene. They might be nerds, but they were able to break the damn code and bring about almost free unrestricted digital viewing to the masses. The smart cards have been cracked and counterfeit circuitry is sold for less than 10% of the retail value, which just about covers the cost of the hardware plus a small profit. To my delight, I found user groups on the Internet where free exchange of codes is rampant. Is it wrong if Paramount or Disney makes less money? Is it immoral if a bunch of out-of-work manual laborers could sit in a humble café by the sea and watch Jean Claude Van Dam beating the shit out of a dozen bad guys for free? Despite all the precautions, despite the threats of legal action, despite and despite, we were able to watch the Germany 2006 World Football Cup without paying a dime. As far as I’m concerned, information should always remain free. Equal access should be the law. The world wouldn’t stop if some lobbyists should find themselves unemployed. They can, as a matter of fact, join the out-of-work laborers in the little café and watch a good martial art movie. Julia Roberts shouldn’t be terribly upset if her fee goes down from 20 million dollars to say one million per movie. May be she’ll work harder and longer to maintain her present lifestyle, and figure. A stupid idiot with a microphone makes more money than a brain surgeon. A Ragheb Alama or a Haifa Wehbe earns more per year than Nizar Kabbani or Nazek Al-Malaika had probably made in an entire lifetime, simply because their kind of “art” is more suitable for digital media. The argument that the quality of the arts would plummet if high monetary compensation is not insured is baseless. Van Gogh died poor and had no idea that years after his death art collectors would make millions upon millions from his paintings.

ADSL is making headway in the third world and is becoming the preferred method to access the Internet. This will insure inexpensive and extremely fast communication. Multimedia, music, movies and international phone calls with video-conferencing at dirt cheap prices are the new wave in the digital revolution. Why, one wonders, would the giant companies hang their own gallows and undermine their huge profits of today. Wonder no more. If they don’t do it, somebody else with motives beyond financial gains would. So they figure they can get away with a few sacks of money in the first couple of years before, again, the code is broken. This would continue for some time until total and uniform saturation is achieved. Meanwhile, we could feel guilty and pay whatever we’re asked to, or seek other alternatives and join the rebels on the fringe of the established norms.

Viva La Revolución!

I'll Fax You an Email on Perfumed Paper

I only have to look back 12 years (same age as a decent bottle of Scotch) to remember that I used to send regular letters by “air mail” to my friends around the world. It took two to three weeks for a letter to travel from Syria to the US or Europe then. By the time I got a reply, a month would’ve elapsed. If I wrote more often to the same person, I and she would get confused and can’t quite figure out what the hell we’re talking about in any one particular letter. I used to wait for the damn 36 exp. film roll to finish before I could stick one or two pictures out of the bunch in the envelope. Sometimes a roll of film would linger in my camera for a couple of months if not more. There were people who even wrote on perfumed paper, although I didn’t do that for fear of being considered a fruitcake. It was romantic, so they say.

Then came the fax machine, and everyone thought WOW, how ingenious! This was what millions have been waiting for, in business particularly. I was never really impressed by this finicky device, although I still have the same one barely five feet to my left. It was such a relief for me when I learned that a rudimentary fax machine was invented just a couple of weeks before Bell patented his telephone. The German inventor didn’t bother apply for a patent, because he rightly thought that the telephone would render his gadget useless. If I had to pay for a couple of minutes of international fare to send a piece of paper, I’d rather talk for that brief time and listen to the voice of those far away. Of course, I was not a businessman and I would never be. Faxing documents across the globe never had a profit potential as far as I was concerned.

Then came the PC and the technology that eventually lead to the Internet. Now that was one hell of a breakthrough. I email my friends on a daily basis. I bombard you with posts on this blog every 3 to 4 days. Digital pictures leave and arrive at my desktop by the dozen. I haven’t gone into a photo lab for ages, except to buy a frame to display one particular digital shot that was worth printing on my photo printer and eventually was worth being framed. Was it really more romantic? Ah, I really don’t know. But, what I wouldn’t give to be young and foolish again in the age of the Internet. One of my best talents is bullshitting and people like me strive on the net. All the hot babes I could’ve eventually met through chat rooms after impressing on them that I was some special kind of guy. That opportunity lost forever.

As for the negative aspects of this (relatively speaking) new means of communications, I personally don’t think it’s worth the HTML code to write about it. Sure there are “hate” assholes, child molesters, terrorists, Bush morons and devil worshipers on the net but they’ve always been around. Now they have the same technology as everybody else and they’re taking advantage of it. I have not yet been forced to visit their sites or to read about them. “Legitimate” businesses are the ones getting on my nerves with their “legal” advertisement. I wonder if a twist of fate somewhere in our modern history would’ve not caused these businesses to be considered worse than terrorists. What if communism had prevailed! A sobering thought, isn’t it?

So we are netizens, whatever that may be. I don’t see our salvation in this new citizenship. The poor are still getting poorer and you all know about the rich. What concerns me most as an individual is that I have better access to information and more importantly to my friends. I have never considered the prevalent media as objective in its coverage of world news. Being able to access smaller news organizations, less privileged groups and less vocal mouths around the globe is very satisfying due to the somehow subdued balancing effect they are helping to create. When Fox News or CNN talk about a bad guy now and I feel that my intelligence is being insulted, I can check out what the bad guy himself has to say about it. No better place to do so than on al-Jazira. I can doubt them all, I can ignore them, or if I so choose, I can have my own presence on the net and fight them with words and images. Being a peace-loving person, I can only say that I’m very happy that “almost” everyone has a chance to speak out. There’s no guarantee that anyone would listen, mind you, but it is a step in the right direction. I strongly believe that one day, the less privileged people of the world will rejoice while those who invented this out of control spider web might regret the very day it was conceived. For better, for worse, there are millions of them.

The ants are coming, step out of the way.