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Friday, September 11, 2009

Blogging Week Against Anal Orifices أسبوع التدوين ضد البخاويش

A few of us Anglophone Syrian bloggers decided at long last to catch up with our Arabophone brethren and start a week of blogging against something. Except that we couldn't agree on what we collectively hate. You see we are neither organized nor do we have an agenda for days to come. We're just a bunch of casual and unceremonious guys and gals (almost all of us but not quite, looool) who couldn't jointly come up with one idea for our week. The best we could muster is for each to declare his or her own war against their own demons.

I chose to attack Chauvinistic Vainglorious Hypocrite Puritan Prudes (AKA Assholes)

1.There are men who think they are inherently better than women by virtue of their sex. I don't like them.

2.There are men who walk a step ahead of women believing it's only normal due to their twisted sense of morality or their sick understanding of modesty. I don't like them.

3.There are men who discuss the attire of women. How they should or shouldn't dress. What they ought to cover and what they are allowed to reveal. I don't like them.

4.There are men who boss women around and who strongly believe its their god given right to do so. I don't like them.

5.There are men who hide the names of their mothers, sisters and wives as if it's shameful and dishonorable for the names of “their” women to be revealed. I don't like them.

6.There are men ashamed of their own bodies and who consider the body of “their” women as their own property. I don't like them.

7.There are men who want to change us all to fit their own idea of right and wrong. I don't like them.

8.There are men who see in black and white, in shades of gray at best. I don't like them.

9.There are men who are convinced they are always right, no matter what. I don't like them.

10.There are women who agree with these assholes. I really hate them.

Participating Blogs:

اسبوع التدوين ضد استهلاك الحمص والفول

التدوين ضد التفكير المتحجر

اسبوع التدوين السوري ضد القبلية

التدوين ضد اضطراب الشخصية النرجسية

اسبوع التدوين للإنحلال الأخلاقي

اسبوع التدوين ضد النظرات الدونية للقطط الشاردة


أنا سوري said...

Assholes....gases... we're going in the same direction Abu Fares. And you say we couldn't agree? lol Hope you didn't lose any sleep tonight.

Katia said...

I was going to suggest blogging against stupid people, in the broad sense of the word. But I didn't, since I thought, well, let the bloggers decide for themselves what they would want or would not tolerate on their day or week against something.

Anyway, I hate them too. And I'm glad I grew up in a home where everybody hates them, both the assholes and the women who might agree with them.

Jillian said...

I apologies, Abu Fares, as I never managed to return to the last comment thread and offer up an idea.

That said, you have clearly found the best one. If an initiative is launched, I will happily join in blogging against assholes (in the States, we also have plenty - PLENTY - of those). And to add to your list, there are those men who would raise a hand to a woman; those men I really REALLY hate.

Fantasia Lillith said...

Jilian I couldn't agree more!!

11. There are men that would harm "their" women and others and children too and think it only normal to do so to "keep them in their place". I hate them!!

12. There are people who see this happen and do nothing to stop it. I hate them!

13. There are men who are so afraid of female sexuality that they crush it and their own out of fear. I hate them!

14. There are men (and women) who can't tolerate those that are different than themselves, in race, religion or sexual preference. I hate them!

15. Oh Goddess stop me ... I could go on!

Abufares - I know you try and stay away from the political. But I am glad you did this. I am with you if you actually launch this week against assholes - I will join! But a word of caution. Hate is a slippery slope. However, in this case, I say ... “Where is the slip and slide and my skimpiest bikini? ... gin and tonic anyone? “

Gabriela said...

I started to love this post the instant I read the title.
I totally agree with all your list, especially the last one. Above all, with the last one.
There is a popular comedy radio show here in Peru (Los chistosos, meaning The comic ones), where a character always says: "squeeze the asterisk"... just as the image in the post.

Abu Kareem said...

I agree, all those "Asterisks" are too uptight and need to loosen up a little (OK a lot) and let some of their toxic gases out.

أنا سوري said...

Now wait a minute Abu Fares. Per the agreement the title should be bilingual. I would love to see your translation of "Chauvinistic Vainglorious Hypocrite Puritan Prudes" lol. Plus, my topic was purely sarcastic, while yours serves a purpose. I must've misunderstood the requirements. :(

Karin said...

I'm with you, Abufares, all the way, point by point!
Let me add just one ... "there are men who have nothing better to do in their lives but ridicule the mother of their children in front of them - may they go to hell"!!

I have to hold my horses here ... just like "fantasia Lillith" I could go on and on - endlessly ... I was once married to such a bastard!!

Anonymous said...

many THANKS abufares for this post... Abufares i really like you and there are men like you i really like ...and there are women respecting themselves enough to disagree with these assholes i really admire....and there are lots of men and women who were raised in a wrong way to tolerate the untolerable,to accepte the unacceptable,they have wrong conceptions of a lot of things ,being man or woman, being husband or wife being dad or mom....those men and women i have pitty for them, and i really really wish they became better humans.
PS.I asked you once to blog in arabic also...that was after only few posts you wrote..with every post i read i had the same wish....

abufares said...

@Ana Sourie
I must apologize for deviating from our gentlemen agreement on 2 points. It took me 30 minutes to write this post and about an hour to come up with a translation for the title. No matter what I tried, it sounded meaningless. I was tempted to write:

اسبوع التدوين ضد الشروج

but decided against it. If you can come up with a reasonable translation I'm willing to post it. I just couldn't.

As for the second point, being meaningless and funny, I have to tell you that what you wrote is far more difficult to come up with. Sarcasm is a very delicate art to master and I needed to be far more inspired to come up with something remotely comic.
I loved your post far better than I loved mine in all honesty and I think it served its purpose for this meaningless week.

abufares said...

These people are stupid. Well they are stupid assholes to be more exact, loool.

I really think my generation and yours grew up in a more tolerable and open minded society. Something went wrong in the last 15 years and I daresay it was not the parenting generation but the children who started it. A devious scheme was put into action to take us back to the middle ages. Money and propaganda were spent unsparingly to change a whole society in every conceivable way, including but not limited to the way we dress and interact. Young girls started wearing the Hijab before their mothers, isn't that odd? Eventually mothers felt embarrassed, guilty and convinced that their daughters are closer to God then they are. That's an extremely interesting phenomenon from a social perspective. Someone should really analyze and study this. Sexual segregation became more acceptable and is rapidly gaining ground as the norm.
Syrians didn't do that on their own.
This move backward in time stinks of Saudi money and filth. I'm positive it won't last or at least that if these Chauvinistic Vainglorious Hypocrite Puritan Prudes ever get in a position of power people will reject them for what they really are.
Hopefully it won't get to that.

abufares said...

I wrote this post very late. I was not in a perfect mood but I promised Ana Sourie to publish before I go to bed.

That I omitted the man who raise a hand to a woman is unforgivable. I'm very sorry. I don't only hate these men but I think they are the scum of the earth.

Assholes are not unique to any one society. However, and you must know that already because you were in Syria recently, the local numbers are rapidly increasing. You might've not known how it was before. You might've heard or not that we were a religiously and morally tolerant society. The streets of Damascus and almost every other city in Syria well into the late 80's were filled with young men and women having fun together (innocently or not wasn't anybody's business). Now moral standards are closely tied to socioeconomic status. While it is possible to argue that marriage in Syria has always been regulated by socioeconomic synergy, friendship and relationships were not.
I think the Syria you know is the messed up one after the shit had hit the fan.
Thank you Jillian for dropping by.

abufares said...

I should've mentioned all your points. I was feeling a little bit under the weather when I wrote this. Well I was actually thinking about men who fit exactly your description.

I hope that you agree with me that women should play a more active role in shutting these men up, or at least ignoring them and minimizing their effect on their lives. They don't deserve the privilege of having an impact!

You in a skimpy bikini, gin and tonic in hand and sliding... ooohhh, I want to see that so much... but in a foursome ;-)

abufares said...

Squeeze the asterisk, looool. Sometimes one feels like buggering the damn hole so that the SOB stops breathing.
I'm so sorry for my foul language but I couldn't help it.
You know our writings mirror our state of mind. I was worried about something when I posted this last night and I was still a little pissed off this morning but I'm much relieved now as I reply to your comment.
Simply answering you Gabriela helped me relax.
Thank you for being here my friend.

abufares said...

@Abu Kareem
You know that you inspired this campaign in the first place don't you?
I hope you keep attacking where it hurts them most... their asses since that's where their brains are.

abufares said...

I swear that if I was inspired to write:
""there are men who have nothing better to do in their lives but ridicule the mother of their children in front of them - may they go to hell" I would've stopped knowing that with this I would have said it all.

I know exactly what you're talking about. Always a pleasure having you nearby (even in thoughts) dear Karin.

abufares said...

You're so welcome. You realize that this post is in partial reply to your request. I didn't say everything I wanted to so there will be more to come.
I would really like to write in Arabic. However, this at the moment presents a real challenge for me. I would say that at least 50% of this blog's readers do not understand Arabic. I hate to post something here that they can't read. The other solution is to start another blog and that needs time. One day, I hope I can get to the point where I own more of myself and dedicate what I like to reading and writing. Then I would not hesitate:-)
Thank you for coming over. Always a pleasure.

Anonymous said...

Abufares no comments,
gone fishing

Razan said...

Better late than never: I am so in. The problem is, there are many mentalities that I hate, not sure where to begin or how to formulate them right in order not to be misunderstood. I won't post something soon, this week is crucial to me, but it will be the first thing to write about on my blog :)

ramadan kareem abu fares, hope you and your family are all alright.

abufares said...


take me with you please. i hope you catch some fish by the asshole, loool.

abufares said...


Welcome back
I can't wait for your own rendition of blogging against the A. Holes. That you're going to be misunderstood is a matter of fact. Are you going soft girl? You never cared much about that before. Don't lose your edge, OK. We like you just the way you are.

أنا سوري said...

Abu Fares, I'm not competing with you. I simply can't afford to. إنت الأصل. How about مدوّنة ضد البخاويش, lol. I thank you for your supoort as always.

abufares said...

@Ana Sourie
No my friend, you and I are one
أنا وأنت واحد ... أكيد

Ded Al Bakhawish it is. I will update accordingly and right now:-)

Diana said...

"Except that we couldn't agree on what we collectively hate. You see we are neither organized nor do we have an agenda for days to come. We're just a bunch of casual and unceremonious guys and gals (almost all of us but not quite, looool) who couldn't jointly come up with one idea for our week. The best we could muster is for each to declare his or her own war against their own demons."

Arab League?

XTR said...

At first, the title didn't make any sense to me at all, but once I read the post, I got it!

Very funny title

Abu Kareem said...

Abu Fares,
As promised, if a little late. My post is in; I hope you like it.

Dubai Jazz said...

Abu Fares,

As always, an excellent post.

I apologize for being late myself. But I'd finally managed to post something.

abufares said...

You know what? I really like that we are so varied (bloggers that is). This is perhaps what makes for interesting reading material. As for the Arab League, well that's another story... a stillbirth from the very beginning.

abufares said...

It's my attempt at being funny while addressing a despicable social vice of our and other paternal cultures.

abufares said...

@Abu Kareem

What a great post indeed. So insightful and true.

abufares said...


You're not late at all... the week had just started.

Great post my friend and I firmly stand by my comment. Ready for a fist fight???

KJ said...

So there IS a brand of women you hate!

abufares said...

I think this brand has chosen to give up their womanhood. How can I not hate them?

Dania said...

lak akhhhh ya abufares...!
I am so innn...

Dania said...

will post something very soon after my "time management chronic syndrom" is treated tomorrow :)

Yazan said...

Absolutely brilliant Abu Fares!

I am in!

abufares said...

Welcome on board Dania. I'm so glad you're in... Please do so ASAP.

abufares said...

We shall prevail, hahahaha... hysterical, satanical, demonic laughter :-))))))

abufares said...

Attention Dear Readers

I'm linking to all participating blogs in the body of this post. Please make sure to visit them all to show your support.

Anonymous said...

As every one else has pointed out... I could not agree more! Energumen Prigs!

w.b. yeats

abufares said...

@w.b. yeats
So glad you joined us all the way from the Caribbean.
Rock n Roll Forever!!!

Katia said...

You know Abufares, I'm very tipsy right now. You might wonder, why the hell is she sharing that? Well, first of all, because you rock, of course! And secondly, because it might get some asshole to pray for my salvation, which is good... he or she might get off somebody else's butt for 2 minutes. Ah, sacrifice ;-) And I just commented on some other blogs and had to keep it all nice and clean. But I kept the rest for this one:p I feel like dirty dancing tonight... no, not the Patrick Swayze way... and I want chocolate! While dirty dancing...

Btw, is a drunk comment comparable to a drunk call??? Hmm, I should call someone and benchmark the reactions. I'll keep you posted.

Somar said...

It`s my first time to comment here.. (It`s not my 1st time here anyway)

I like this blog... I agree all your points one by one...specially the last point..

abufares said...

You know I've written a few blogs when I was a little drunk, a couple when I was very drunk. It's so much fun as long as you can see the keyboard, let alone the screen ,looool.
Every year I stop drinking for one month, yes you guessed it in Ramadan. Not a single drop! But once it's over the party shall begin :-)

abufares said...

Thank you for commenting Ya Jar :-)
You're always welcome, anytime...
I just visited your blog and I'm really glad I did.

Anonymous said...

Abufares the only hole that I´m looking for is of the crab

I had a fantastic weekend fishing

Isobel said...

Would it be crazy to admit that I'm overwhelmed? Maybe I should go Katia's route and return...oh wait, I did. That didn't work either. I couldn't see the keyboard. Em...why am I here? Oh yes, assholes...and a fantastic campaign against all sorts of annoying things. I couldn't agree more with all of your points! Hurrah for Abufares! Can I join in or does one have to be Syrian?

abufares said...

When I say that I'm honored by your presence I don't mean it as an uncalled for compliment. It always means so much to me when you come here. You don't have to be Syrian to deal with a sad fact of life. Assholes are like the US$, universally omnipresent. They go up, they go down, but that doesn't change their anatomy.
I chose to concentrate on one specific "universal" type. I was in no way describing a Syrian specimen but the entire species. This campaign might've started as a joke but I was serious about and meant every word I wrote. When a man relies on his physiology (or a text, any text) rather than on his intellect in dealing with women he's unfortunately being as unmanly as he could ever be.
This is the point an asshole can neither understand nor ever see.
Did I thank you enough for your comment. Thank you again:-)

Jillian said...

Ya Abu Fares,

If that's the case (about Syria), then I suppose I was very lucky, as I found it to be absolutely lovely. Still, having spent time with a few good Syrian friends while there, I don't dispute what you said - they tell me that's the case.

I hope you don't mind, but I'm about to quote you again on Global Voices for this wonderful post.

New BIL said...

Abu Fares, Well posted, "WAAO" is well timed and long over due. Men who act like that are out=of-touch with the real world and the women who follow are even more out-of-touch. In this time of the year one needs to reflect on our actions and all the things that can be improved in our lives. Knowing it is just a few days away, I want to wish all who read a most beautiful EID <;-)
"The New BIL"

Dubai Jazz said...

Did somebody just mention Patrick Swayze?

أنا سوري said...

Abu Fares,
I have a suggestion. How about we call this group "Delinquent Trouble Makers" or DTM for short? I may not agree with all ideas in there, but this is what makes us unique. let everyone know this is a group to be reckoned with.

abufares said...

Thank you Jillian and it's my pleasure that you quoted me on GV.

abufares said...

@New Bil
Sorry for being a little late in replying to your comment. Sometimes we get overwhelmed by work and we miss on the better things in life.
Thank you for the wonderful and early Eid wishes. Same to you and yours. Please come again.

abufares said...

Looking for trouble again, aren't you?

abufares said...

@Ana Sourie
I vote in favor of the name: DTM.
One of the things I admire most in people is when they disagree with grace. Ever since your first comment here you made it clear that you have different opinions than mine on certain issues. Yet you and I have managed to disagree beautifully.
A problem I noticed among some fellow Syrian bloggers is that they take disagreement as personal humiliation and they retaliate with uncalled for insults on the character of those who oppose them.
Not that it truly matters to me. I do feel sorry for them going through life in black and white. Unbeknown to many, I saw the world like that once upon a time.
This bickering back and forth is one of my least favorable aspects of blogging. Early on when I first started I found myself at odds with extremists on the other side of the spectrum. However the shift toward the "RIGHT" on the Syrian blogsphere, if we might call it that, was not due to an intellectual confrontation. It was simply an onslaught of sheer numbers of blogs and posts, lacking any logical support or scientific evidence and more in line with preaching and declarations.
We are indeed a group to be reckoned with. We won't remain on the sidelines when our personal freedom is jeopardized. Even if your conception of personal freedom and mine are world apart, we will stand by each other in the face of the mob mentality.

yaser said...

KJ said...

I will be joining this campaign. I am cooking something up (rather, Moogle is)

أنا سوري said...

This week's episode, lol.

Anonymous said...

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