Friday, January 18, 2008

Leisure Suit Larry

The year was 1983. I had just completed my Master’s degree in urban planning after publishing my thesis. The text was entirely written and printed out using the university’s main frame computer. This was the Pre-PC era and the most advanced piece of hardware to hit the market till then was the scientific calculator. I don’t quite remember how it came about but I was fascinated by a new gadget, a small computer called the Sinclair. It measured about 25x20X4 cm and had a membrane keyboard. Well the whole thing was a membrane keyboard really with an external AC adapter and a cable to connect to a black & white TV. Oh yeah, there’s one more thing I forgot to mention, a regular cassette player was needed to load the programs before the Sinclair can run them. There were no floppy drives yet, let alone hard disks. The reason I bought this peculiar piece of electronics was to play a game. Not any game but one in particular, a flight simulator. I was fascinated by flying then, as I still am, although I was actually working as a commercial pilot and a flight instructor. Still, I would’ve not wanted to spend any time on the ground without my primeval flight simulator. Come to think of it now, it was a piece of shit, but I loved every minute I’ve spent fiddling with the damn thing and pushing desperately against the un-responding membrane to avoid that inevitable fatal crash.
In 1986, I climbed my way up the ladder and bought a Commodore 64, attached yet to another cassette recorder before the blessing/curse of God and Bill Gates brought us MS-DOS and eventually Windows 3.11. Whatever your age might be you must know the rest, Windows and the PC became the most prevalent software/hardware IT combination. I followed the herd and remained an obedient and faithful user of this platform since I bought my first real PC, a Compaq Pentium 90 in 1994.
I’ve done my fair share of work on computers but was never a keen gamer per say. I was obsessed briefly with a few games over the years. They were mostly flight simulators, and in particular those involved with the aerial warfare and aircraft of the Second World War. I remember another extremely absorbing game by the name of Commando. It, too, evolved around WWII. I played it for a few months until I completed all 20 missions. That’s about it; I mean my PC gaming experience… except for Larry.


Leisure Suit Larry is the [cartoon] title character of a series of adult adventure games written by Al Lowe and published by Sierra On-Line from the 1980s to the present. The character, whose full name is Larry Laffer, is a balding, dorky, double entendre-speaking, leisure suit-wearing (but still somewhat lovable) "loser" in his 40s who spends much of his life trying (usually unsuccessfully) to seduce attractive women.” * Leisure Suit Larry in the Land of the Lounge Lizards first appeared in 1987 (DOS) and was later remade in 1991. It was the first commercially successful sex video game to be ever produced. It was followed by 5 more titles before the bona fide masterpiece finally appeared in 1996 under the title of Leisure Suit Larry 7: Love for Sail!. This was the first one I was introduced to in the series. I later returned to the roots and played the older versions, but nothing, absolutely nothing, ever compares to Love for Sail. As far as I, and millions of other players, are concerned, this is the best video game of all ages. I, role-playing Larry Laffer, have managed over months of total absorption and perseverance to a hilariously funny and wittingly sexy video game to get all the women on board the cruise ship in the sack, culminating my fornicating frenzy by screwing Captain Thighs herself.

The general line of the game is to live the adventures of Larry as he fails but keep trying to convince gorgeous women to have sex with him. It’s very tricky to do so if you have Larry Laffer’s looks and manners. You have to depend entirely on your cunning, patience and luck to get women to simply take a second look at you. When you finally score you have all the right in the world to celebrate. I used to do just that, celebrate the occasion by placing the picture of my trophy on my desktop.
3 years ago, a friend of mine who knows about my affinity to Larry and who lives on the other side of the world sent me the perfect gift. The “still” latest edition: Leisure Suit Larry Magna Cum Laude. The main character’s name is still Larry, but it’s Larry Lovage this time, Laffer’s nephew. Here is what it says on the 4-CD box. “Help Larry Earn a BA in T&A. With gorgeous coeds everywhere, college dweeb Larry Lovage is chasing around more than his diploma. He’s trying to live up to the legend of his uncle Larry Laffer, everyone’s favorite polyester playboy.” Now here’s the funny part, I have this game for 3 years and I haven’t played or even installed it yet. I feel a little down that it’s the nephew rather than the uncle. I’m also wondering where I will find the free time to play it. As I’m traveling a couple of times per month and staying overnight in lonely hotel rooms, I’m planning on giving myself and Larry a chance. With a wife and three kids, all armed with mobile phones and an insatiable appetite to know all the details of my life away from home, Larry is my only chance to wag my tail and have some forbidden fun.
Guys, if you like gaming, fun and sex, and even if you’re having the real thing… Give Larry a chance. I can’t yet recommend Larry 8 and would rather wait until I give it a shot. But, Leisure Suit Larry 7: Love for Sail!. is the best adult video game ever produced. Don’t let the fact that it’s 12 years old fool you. Like a classic Charlie Chaplin, Larry is forever funny.

* Wikepedia

20 comments:

The Syrian Brit said...

Well.. What can I say?..
I have never been a computer game enthusiast, for one reason or another.. but this Larry character sounds worth exploring!..
For those of us who couldn't, wouldn't, too principled, or simply too scared, to try and 'play away', this seems like a safe alternative!..
Like you, though, I don't know where am I going to find the time..

Omar said...

I can't believe non of my perverted friends told me about this game back in high school.
I might have to go out and find it now..

lê said...

Abufares, I never understood this language, virtuality is not for me, about 15 years ago a friend showed me a virtual (bass fishing) game , he bought at the (bass pro shop) he said, you can go virtual fishing on rainy days , you can do it indoor, on rainy days I spend all day in my lovely kitchen listening TOM JOBIM, singing BOSSA NOVA, or teeching a girlfriend how to coock ME food.

DUBAI JAZZ said...

:)
I remember the Sinclair, my cousins used to have it when I was very little. It was like an extraterrestrial toy for all kids in the family. My favorite game was a football game which consisted of two players in shape of horizontal rods defending and attacking the other team (the computer) at the same time.

99% of the population of Aleppo referred to computers as 'Attari' lol

My own first PC was the Sakher 170 C (?)… thanks to it, I've become a professional programmer of Basic at the age of 11…

Thanks for bringing back those sweet memories Abu Fares..:)

abufares said...

@Syrian Brit
Larry (Love for Sail)is indeed worth exploring. Playing this game is so much fun without the "risks" you and I are so very well aware of. That is if we still have a chance in the first place, hahaha.

@Omar
You needed an older perverted friend to show you the way ;-)
In any case, I learned that Love for Sail has been released for the Mobile Platform. I suggest, however, the Windows 95 version which should still work on newer OS. It's available online btw.

@lê
You're mostly right. No matter how good the game is, it can't be like the real thing... especially when it comes to what Larry does best :-)
Yet, I swear that playing this game is in a strange way very very funny and satisfying. I wouldn't dare do or say the things Larry gets away with so easily. If I followed his approach to women, I would've been committed to a mental institution or sent to prison. I kind of admire his attitude as I never dare be like him. Larry is such a lovable nerd. But most importantly, he scores by his sheer perseverance and his insatiable love for women. That should teach the rest of us a valuable lesson.

@DJ
You too brought back so many memories with the words Atari and Sakher. But DJ, I'm serious, play Larry and you're going to thank me at some point. Or, you might think of killing me for getting you involved in something so silly, yet so absorbing.

Rami said...

Abufares, I could not find a use for my Sinclair computer or its printer, so I gave it away 25 years ago, and may be it is a good thing to remember where we were and we are right now.
But Larry adventure with its attractive swim suits and big boobs cartoons filling the screen was too much of scandal to expose myself to, so I choose to be defeated by Xena Warrior Princes and indulged in the Dungeon of Diablo with my son. But, hey, I have great respect to those warriors who are not shy about their intention in pursuit of full-size treasures. And I hope you did not miss out on Xbox dead or alive xtrem beach checks.
One more thing, there is better and more stupid blond nowadays than Zsa Zsa Gabor which will makes us look old.

saint said...

Abufares,
Rami comment was from me, but since my son was using the computer before me, so his name showed up instead of me. Sorry for accidental mistake.

damdom said...

hello, is it just a weird coincidence that exactly this morning i've heard about this Sinclair pc from a friend??!!! to come checking ur blog abu fares and read this again!
by the way i'm a follower of ur blog for few months so far....and i can't but get surprised everytime i check it out...just congrats.....

Lujayn said...

I probably shouldnt wade into this all-male conversation, but what the hell! How do you (sorry, Larry) go about bedding these women? Does Larry try pick-up lines on the women? Or does the game rely on sheer wear-them-down determination? Curiosity as to how the game works.

KJ said...

Yes yes it is quite a game! LoL

It's good practice for uninitiated people like me to learn how to entice women in real life :P

Although I guess I need much more luck than that!

Ascribo said...

"he scores by his sheer perseverance and his insatiable love for women"

That is a very valuable lesson indeed! Those who keep knocking the door would be let in eventually!

annie said...

i know nothing about games, but as for seducing, I - an old lady with a long life behind her - would tell youngsters : make a woman laugh; tease her, make her talk about herself. A little sincere flattery is also helpful.
It works the other way too : this is how I used to seduce men !

abufares said...

@Saint
Once we cross the 40 we start reffering to 25 years ago as "yesterday = Mbareh".
I wish I had more time for games, virtual and real. Work is taking away the best of our days and years. However, this line of tought probably deserves a post by itself.

abufares said...

@damdom
First, I'm so happy to see you here, especially since we are neighbors. I took a look at your blog and really liked what I saw.
You're always more than welcome to drop by anytime.
Thank you.

abufares said...

@Lujayn
No post that deals even indirectly with the sexes is complete without your valuable comments.
Larry uses all methods, legitimate or not to score. Flirting, giving presents, discovering weak points and fetishes and taking advantage it this knowledge is one valid option for Larry. Let's say he finds out that one particular woman has an affinity for elephants then why not take showing up in the middle of the night in her room wearing an elephant-head underwear and nothing but :-)
What do you think??? Don't you all have your dark secrets?

abufares said...

@KJ
Larry is the perfect mentor for the wannabies and an old buddy for the havebeens.
Those presently in service could also learn alot from him. They should for instance take themselves less seriously.

abufares said...

@Ascribo
This is exactly the very first step to succeed with women and with everything else life throws at you.

abufares said...

@annie
You just wrote the book on the art of seduction for both men and women.
Your comment sums it all.
Thanks.

annie said...

"Let's say he finds out that one particular woman has an affinity for elephants then why not take showing up in the middle of the night in her room wearing an elephant-head underwear and nothing but :-)
What do you think??? Don't you all have your dark secrets?"
No way José, never, abadan, jamas, no way Larry. ça y est, you make me laugh !

lê said...

Abufares, a bad day fishing is better than a good day working,
gone fishing,,,,,,,