Showing posts from September, 2007

toyz 4 big boyz: why i wish i was 3

Arima , a woman who graces my dreams now and again tagged me and wanted me to give her 5 reasons why I wish I was 3 again… or young in general! Who am I to say no? 1) I don't have a lingering memory from that age, but looking at my old black & white photos I think I was a cute kid, the type that women cuddle and kiss and hold close to their bosoms. I fancy being in that situation again. 2) I don't mind at all being spoon fed by a girl who loves babies and happen to be generously endowed and lightly dressed. She would lean on me and purse her lips and make these stupid sounds and shower me with kisses leaving lipstick marks all over my chubby face, and preferably, on my adorable neck. 3) A boy of 3 will never draw too much attention or suspicion if he chose to walk on all four and look up women dresses. The possibilities are infinite, the joy of discovery juvenile and the satisfaction guaranteed. The world comes in different colors, and a little boy should be the first

A Very Private Ramadan

Life trudges along parallel threads for most men. They have either made up their own minds or someone has done it on their behalf. At one point, they’ve decided to head north or south, east or west. Then they marched on. Subsequently, there are those who had gone astray and followed diverging paths leading nowhere in particular. With the passage of time, they were left with a bitter existential aftertaste and perhaps no more. Could it be that the uncommitted and ambivalent deserve an ambiguous present, and on a more proufound inference, an uncertain future? What am I in the grand scheme of life? Who is to answer this question without drawing bitter tears to my eyes or instigating a fit of hysterical laughter, one that will echo endlessly within the dark maze of my nocturnal essence. The choices we inexplicably make mature into experiences and later age into memories. As long as I am willing to tackle another challenge, to climb yet one more step, I chance on crossroads and follow my i

Hot Fish - Samke Harra

Happy Ramadan to all! It certainly is food time and I'm going to take you by the hand and help you prepare the best Tartoussi Samke Harra in existence. Samke Harra, literally means Hot Fish ( hot as in hot & spicy ) is a Middle Eastern dish prepared with subtle or major variations from Lattakia , Syria to Tyre , Lebanon . Well this is as far as my knowledge extends. If it is prepared by our Turkish neighbors up north or by our Palestinian brethrens to the south I am not aware of it. My favorite two varieties are the Tartoussi (Syrian) and the Tripolitan (Lebanese). Samke Harra is a serious and delicious main course. As with any other type of cooking, do not let the long list of ingredients intimidate you. In reality, it's just another simple dish if you put your heart to it. I also need to point out that Samke Harra is by no means a Ramadan specialty. However, I had to post about it because it was a special request from my friend Cara in California . I hope you e

One "Flu" Over the Cuckoo's Nest

Two, three days ago I swallowed a razor blade in the morning. It kept nagging at me and I could hardly gulp my breakfast. I jumped on my bike and headed to work, an absurdly short distance away. I was hit by a truck. The heavy wheels squashed my bones one by one and squeezed the life out of me. I climbed the flight of stairs to the office and with every step I scaled I felt the impact of a powerful baseball bat crushing my knees, tearing apart my flesh and muscles. I slumped heavily on the chair, completely stunned in front of the screen as slow realization crept through my foggy brain. It’s the fucking flu. There’s nothing I hate more than being sick. My tolerance to the common cold is close to nil. If a kid is infected two blocks away and I merely look at him from afar chances are I’ll catch it and turn into a useless lump in 24 hours or less. For the last few years I’ve been taking the shot every October. Although, it didn’t disappear completely from my life, the frequency of fa

Midnight Existential Banter

-Hey bartender, get me and my friend here another round. - You’re sure you didn’t have too much to drink? -Just get us more cheap Vodka; if I needed a mother I would’ve stayed home. -I hate wiseass bartenders, what were you saying? - I was wondering if we’re ready to start our game. -You’re kidding me; we’ve almost drank a whole bottle. We’re just in the perfect frame of mind. I’m very excited… We haven’t done so in over what, a month? -42 days exactly. -Great, go ahead, shoot, ask me the first question. Make sure everyone around hears you. -Well then, it’s an existential question: WHY AREN’T WE BORN OLD AND PROGRESS BACKWARD IN LIFE? -Umm, let’s see, it's a matter of logistics really. The average elderly male measures at 164 cm height, 48 cm wide and 65 kg weight. Assuming he has to come out to the world in the same old-fashioned way, the average female reproductive system has to be 5 to 7 times its' present size. That would lead to a complex sequence of events, since propo