My Kind of Man

"… why are we never treated to illustrations of male beauty every now and then, heh? Would it kill you to show, say, the many delights of George Clooney? Sorry, but my feminist leanings sometimes do come out when provoked. :)"
Rime of Mosaics

When an intelligent and delightfully attractive woman poses such a query, only a fool such as me would oblige. But here I am, win or lose, embarking on a dangerous proposition, what kind of a man I would have liked, had I been a woman.

It’s stupid isn’t it! My attempt to write (at least a page) about an idea which has never crossed my mind. I want my man to be of the strong and silent type. Well, what the hell, let’s get it out in the open.

He has to be bright to start with. I can’t stand a dumb broad so I, and my fellow women, deserve an intelligent man instead of a stupid bloke. A man with brains knows when to speak and when not to, how to be close when needed and how to distant himself when some extra breathing space is all what a woman wants. This last trait is only mastered by a brilliant man. A woman needs her time alone and he will be doing her a great favor when he steps out of the picture. He is a genius if he knows when to return, just in the nick of time.

I want my man to dress properly without hinting that he makes a habit out of watching himself in the mirror. I don’t like an overdressed man and even if I were the hottest and sexiest girl out there, I would never show any interest in a man who enjoys shopping for clothing. I’d rather he compliments me on my nice negligee but it would drive me crazy if he shows too much interest in my or his wardrobe. I would buy all of his clothes for him. When he needs to wear a suit he will look fabulous, but I prefer him in a faded pair of jeans.

I like him to be fit and well proportioned, may be a little on the tall side. Appearances are deceiving but I’d rather be with a man with full dark hair instead of a blond or bald one. He should have comfortable shoulders to lean on, rather on the broad side. His smile must be big and reassuring, showing a white set of teeth. He has to be contented with himself and at ease with the rest of the world as far as his looks are concerned. But then again, his attitude toward his appearance must in no way be conscious. He should look nice without even trying.

I can only relate to dependable men. No, I don’t want a banker or a jeweler. As a matter of fact, I don’t think I can get along with either. I’m talking about a man who would answer my call a hundred mile away in the middle of the night and be my side in an hour or less. A dependable man is a loyal and faithful one. He would give up his life for me in dire need. Unless I feel his devotion to his family and friends he has no right to be with me.

I don’t mind if I catch him looking at other women but he must be tactful enough to know when not to do it. I want him to pamper yet treat me with respect on an emotional and material level. We should enjoy doing things together but not everything. I need time to do my womanly things alone, like removing my body hair and shopping with my girlfriends (at least one of these two obsessions must be shared with other women). I prefer that he spends time with his buddies at least once a week. I don’t mind if they talk women and sports. It’s much more acceptable than discussing fashion trends and flower arrangement. He could fart in their company but not in mine. He can unleash the male beast inside of him, only attainable in the company of other men. With me, he must maintain a sense of civility at all times without being pretentious in the least.

Finally, a man has to say no eventually. Even to me, when the moment comes, he must say it in my face without a blink of an eye. For all the other times, he must be a generous man with a positive attitude toward humanity. Nobody must feel superior or inferior in his presence, that’s all.

Having treaded on such thin ice and gotten a little wet in the crossing no doubt, I think I deserve and owe it to myself to talk about my kind of woman. Coming soon.


Anonymous said…
Well, AbuFares old buddy, I am glad to see that you are still at it... I guess I have a lot of reading to catch up with (even if it sometimes hits too close to home...!), but it is funny that the first post of yours that I read after a lengthy absence is related to our Rime (a bright spot in our dismal Syrian scene who certainly provokes and inspires, and through whose blog I dicovered you, the whole "blogoshere", and this cool circle of Syrian bloggers), and to the last post of yours that I read until now...!!! Even if it escapes me at the moment, I am sure there must be some grand cosmic meaning to all this...!!?

Lujayn said…
Abu Fares, given your topic today, you should make your way over to my blog and comment on my post! :)))

Just kidding! But I am wondering how many of those traits and characteristics you have? I totally agree with you on a number of them - guys with a taste for shopping and looking good - such a turn off, but a man who says no to me???? Nooooooooooooooo way :)))

Seriously, its interesting reading about the ideal male from a male perspective. You guys are mostly attuned to our needs after all!
Anonymous said…
Oh my, what a hilarious surprise! Unfortunately, I can't stop laughing and it's difficult to type like this ... I'll be back when I compose myself.

Really, LOL! Abufares, you rule!
The Syrian Brit said…
I am sorry, my friend, but I must agree with Naji on this one.. The grand cosmic meaning of all this simply escapes me!..
Your highly intelligent, somewhat philosophical, and very amusing thoughts are wasted on a simple-minded fellow like me!..
Anonymous said…
Ehem, back in a more dignified manner. Having read your post properly, I can say that you and I seem to have much of the same tastes in men. :)

Still, you again managed to avoid posting George Clooney, preferring Mr. Bond par excellence, so at least we won't be fighting over anyone and can remain friends.

You mention looks and clothing (what's wrong with a man who shops?) and I'm assuming you take proper grooming for granted, but you forgot to talk about the importance of the voice. And the handshake.

I confess I am still pondering the "saying No" issue which you claim is a necessary male trait ... and here I was thinking it was a woman's prerogative. But beauty sleep now beckons ... or at least sleep, so let us debate it later! Over a dream of Clooney, perhaps. :)

Great post Abufares, but that seems to be your forte anyway. Are you sure you won't get carried away writing about your kind of woman?
Anonymous said…
Naji, I had no idea you guys all met at my blog; I am so happy to have hosted a meeting point for like-minded people. Now that's a salon nobody can close.
KJ said…
Marry me
Abufares said…
Hey Naji Welcome back.
It's been quite a while.
A grand cosmic meaning! Huh! Nothing of the kind. I think it's yet another failed attempt to understand the way women think. I had to stretch my imagination but I'm sure I have failed dismally.
Abufares said…
Lujayn I will go to your blog immediately.
Do I share traits with my ideal man? Of course I do, but not all. This was much more difficult than I thought at first. I might've done a better job had I given it enough time. Instead, I chose to tackle the proposition head on and at the spur of the moment. All I need at the moment is to get more in touch with my "feminine" side.
Abufares said…
Wow Rime, we have the same taste in men. That's nice, and reassuring in a way.
I didn't know that you wanted George Cloonney exclusively. I thought that he's your "type" in a general sort of way. Taking that into consideration, Sean Connery is not merely a subsitute, but the real thing.
I approached this post in the following manner. Rather than thinking like a woman, a task I found inpossible after a few minutes of writing, I talked about the "opposite" of the man I don't like. For any man, disliking a certain type of men is much easier and safer than liking a particular kind of men.
Saying NO, when appropriate" is important for a man or a woman. I consider that this particular trait is very much needed, very rarely. It's like a spare tire that you wish you'd never use it. But it must always be in the trunk of your mind.
Abufares said…
Hi Syrian Brit
nah, you know that deep down inside you'd meant the exact opposite of what you've said. It's no easy task really knowing what women want. My attempt was a very crude tackle on an elusive subject. I think that the misunderstanding between the sexes is the main ingredient in the allure of relationships. Can you imagine how boring, and ultimately dangerous if we exactly knew what's on our partners minds.
Still, a woman can write about this subject more eloquently than a man. There's always the risk for a man being labeled a "fruitcake" if he gets too close to fully understanding what a woman ultimately wants.
Abufares said…
There's one of 3 possiblities behind your proposal.
1) You have most of the traits of my ideal man.
2) You like a woman who likes these traits in a man.
3) Like me, you're nuts.
Anonymous said…
Dear AbuFares,

In my usual arrogance and narcissism, I was trying to find "grand cosmic meaning" in the coincidences of my comment, rather than in the contents of your post...! Obviously, I failed at expressing myself clearly, just as I failed at finding that "great cosmic meaning". But I persevere, ...undaunted.

No, you never fooled me (or betrayed your moustache!) with your post. It is a thinly veiled attempt at getting past OmFares, a much harder task than getting past the goons who block Blogspot in Syria. You were, again, just describing yourself and the girl of your dreams...!! The mid-life thing again...!!?

However, judging by the irk and rile you raised among your lady-readers, you seem to have been married so long that you forgot that, just as a lady never says yes, a gentleman never says no...!! (the emphasis is on "says", of course...!)

Syrianita said…
WOW abu fares you just made me Daydream lol I would really be very appreciative if you point out at such a MAN!!!

great read :)
Abufares said…
Hi Naji
Well, where were you anyway?
Abufares said…
Hi Soraya
It's been a while.
I'm glad that you've found my kind of man up to your expecations.
There are so many of us out there that you really don't need to look at all. But, let me say this (as a basic fact of life in the abstract sense). When we tend to look too far sometimes (telescopic vision), we often fail to see what's really right in frint of us, up very close.
KJ said…
I'm actually all of those choices you mentioned... but I don't have the broad shoulders :P
Dubai Jazz said…
Abu Fares;
First of all 7amedellah 3la al salame…it’s great to see you back, and hope your trip was refreshing …blogspot is not the same without you, (sorry guys)..this post smells like roses, and I could read between the lines the subliminal effect of a fresh come back. Maybe we deserve to learn a bit about your trip? Any interesting sight-seeing? New restaurants? Interesting coincidental occurrences? :)
Your kind of man sounds like a likable guy, even to me (men’s quality point of view). I can say with my hand on my heart that this post of yours is an infallible description of me (yeah right), so to all of you girls out there, your knight on shining armor is around, don’t hesitate to initiate…
DubaiSalsa said…
Abu Fares... THAT IS COOL MAN .... if you were a girl,,, i would have taken the first flight to Syria right away... heh... in fact you went into a lot of details that a lot of guys would never think of... Though your post might look like some kind of your type of men, but believe me (from an experienced guy) this is the type of men that all girls would like to be with... especially the parts regarding shopping and saying NO...

though there is a lot of girls that might not agree on that, but :
"Finally, a man has to say no eventually. Even to me, when the moment comes, he must say it in my face without a blink of an eye. For all the other times, he must be a generous man with a positive attitude toward humanity. Nobody must feel superior or inferior in his presence, that’s all."

that is one of the most beautiful things i have ever heard ( girls dont missunderstand me here)

A girl will long to hear the word "NO" from her man, i dont meant those guys who only know 2 letters of the alphabete N & O . On the other hand i still can understand the girls opposing this coz this is how they are, in fact this is the beauty of the natural relationship between a man and a woman.

Ladies , just imagine with me a guy that you are going out with, or married to, and he always does what you want ( again dont missunderstand me here ) i meant literally , he does what you tell him to do(notice that you may replace him by a dog in this case!!! heh)... would he really show the manhood that any girl would like to see in her partner's eyes ?

its the same for guys...he would like to see the fenmine by accepting his "NO" ( after an argument) and i dont mean by that that the man/woman looses or wins... not at all,, its a nature, but a lot of girls didnt really notice what Abu Fares said after that : "For all the other times, he must be a generous man with a positive attitude toward humanity" Does that make sense or not ?

anyway...that was a very nice post Abu Fares... i realy liked... and Girls again , please do not misunderstand me, my current girlfriend says that i am the nicest boyfried because of how i take all the nonsense that she does sometimes... so am not agaist women nor trying to give a superiority to men over women..Naaaa,, again Its a nature, where the harsh nature of a man will need the soft nature of a woman and vise versa...

Anonymous said…
Well what the hell!!! What would my ideal woman be like had I been a man?
Hmm...hmmm & hmmm again..
Damn!!! Are you good at everything?
The only thing I ended up imagining was what my life would be like had I been a man..(or am I aspiring to a man's life?)
Anyway: No ideal woman! felt awkward...I could somehow, but my version would be so superficial compared to the sophistication of yours

Three things:
1)You have some suspected tendencies...
2)You peeked at the "Lady or knight in shining armor" post & added some ideals in deduction from what your wife complains about.
3) You know how to tackle life, play with it and laugh about it!

I'll dismiss the first possibility but 1 thing's for sure You're defnitely one hell of a player!
Abufares said…
Hey Dubai Jazz
I'm glad to be back, at least so that we're in touch again.
My trip, although full of significant matters on the professional level cannot be described as interesting in terms of blogging. I worked hard and dined elegantly in some fine restaurants.
As for your invitation to all the women out there I think they should listen to you. After all, you are an available bachelor in his prime. Who knows may be eventually this blog turns into a meeting place for my online friends.
Abufares said…
I'm glad that you have given some thought to my temporary transformation and that you have fully understand my last preference (the NO notion). I have to admit that you have fully understood my point with all the subtleties it entailed.
Thank you for being here.
Abufares said…
Lost Somewhere
It was no easy ride writing this post. As a matter of fact, I think it was one of the toughest ones to put together although it didn't much time to write.
I'm glad you dismissed your first multiple choice answer ;-)
As for 2) and 3) they are much closer to the truth.
It's very important to clarify that I was not describing myself although I would score high in a comparison test.
It's so refreshing to discuss this type of talk with a woman.
Thank you for being here.
Highlander said…
Oh man you have just made an essay about the much awaited Mr. Highlander !
DubaiSalsa said…
Abu Fares...

thanks man.. I will always be there, heh i might be that man that you are looking for during your transformation... hehehe :)

Lujayn said…
You know what, Abu Fares, there is nothing more attractive than a man with principles. I think that tops my list, right next to open-mindedness and humaneness. These make for an honest, open relationship. Plus most of the other traits you listed :)) Needless to say your wish-list has given me much food for thought.
Abufares said…
You are about 19 years late ;-)
Hope you have even better luck and find the perfect Mr. Highlander
Abufares said…
In the unlikely event I make this transformation ever again, I know where to look :-)
Abufares said…
So now, we should read a great post on your blog. I am not asking too much, right?
Lujayn said…
Oh? and the posts I've written aren't great enough? :p

Your wishlist giving me food for thought means I am going to go harrass the boyfriend into being a more ideal man! Not post about the ideal man :)))
* said…
Lol AbuFares!
You have some fantasies going on there.

For me my MAN must have a wicked sense of humour (which he does), a cute bottom,big hands,generous lips and heart, appreciates poetry and music,good food , and yes after 13 years (mashallah) of marriage, know which buttons to press and which to undo. (OMIGOD! Did I just say that. Astaghfirallah.( Its not my fault, I have currently lost my marbles, while husband is out of town!!)
* said…
dont even get me started on my kind of woman.
But Scarlett Johannsen and Angelina Jolie can call me anytime.
Abufares said…
Hi Kaya
Great to see you around. You and your man are both lucky it seems. As for your kind of woman, ummmmhhhh, you just stirred some fantasies. Your two choices are simply great, especially together ;-)
Unknown said…
very enjoyable read Abufares..
This post really highlights how much you know a woman, even though you wrote it with "opposite" of the man you don't like" perspective.

I'm going to strive to be your kind of man... ok that sounded a bit gay. What I meant to say that your ideal man seems to be quite perfect in almost all aspects ;)

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