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Monday, March 05, 2007

I Need A Break

I am bored. I seldom reach this dreadful state and when I do eventually I wrestle with the notion like a drowning man fighting for his life. Contrary to popular belief, boredom holds me within its firm grip when I am very busy. Whilst my work consumes all but tidbits of my waking hours I am most susceptible. There is little time left to be entertained, whether by spending some luxurious moments alone or in the enjoyable company of others. My predicament is often the result of too many approaching deadlines or a consuming assignment with a rather short fuse. When my daily existence is rendered as a single mechanical part in a complex machine and I lose my personal bearings due to vocational pressures, I get bored.
Having gone through most of my career as a freelance soloist my duties occasionally dictate being a part of a team. I have no real problem operating with others but I do not truly enjoy the boss/employee relationship. I don’t like it either way to be absolutely clear and so far in my professional life I have managed to avoid this kind of association. It is a skill I have mastered by evasion so I’ve never worked under a real boss and I never was anybody’s superior. Once, so many years ago, while working for a big contractor, the nature of my job changed so that I had to report to him (in person) everyday. He wanted to be treated differentially, well like a boss. I quickly resigned and got it over with. What’s the point? Too much tension and pretense between ordinary people all working for a living in the end. I have later been involved with clients who imagine that since they are paying for a service they kind of own the service provider and that they can boss him around. I cut it off immediately, without remorse. That is why I have only a few clients in this day and age. I accept that they’ve hired my services but not me personally. And, that brings me back to my original topic, I have been writing in the hope that I might snap out of it, but I am still bored nevertheless.

This is not what I had in mind, but you get the idea, right?!

I need a break, a vacation in this untimely time. I should be in a hammock on a sunny beach with a couple of voluptuous maidens attending to my every whim. I mostly want them to refresh my drink(s) and giggle softly, yet with adoration. I fancy one of them reading to me from a book while her friend massages my forehead and knotted neck muscles. I want them to know when to stop, when to go on without uttering the slightest hint. I crave for a seafood platter of an exotic assortment and a basket of tropical fruits. The shorter brunette would feed me with her own hand while the busty blonde holds the cold misty glass close to my face. Then I should nap for an hour or two. When I wake up, I realize that it was a dream within a dream. The wife and kids would be laughing their hearts out at my robust snoring. They’d invite me to join them for a long and relaxing swim in the crystal clear water till dusk. There’s yet time to shower, shave and dress for an evening of wild partying (with them!)
We each have our own way of keeping our sanity. I should get back to the tedious task of closing loose ends, of getting the job done, despite all. The dream hovers at the edge of consciousness, suspended till another day.

15 comments:

Yazan said...

a are a very talented scenarist my friend...
I can almost smell the salty water and feel the sand up feet...

What u described, somehow, reminded me how it feels to be high.

Maybe this will inspire u to do something about ur boredom... I'm treating myself to weekend up the mountains friends, skiing, vodka, open air natural hot pool... hopefully will loosen my shaking-legs tick, a little bit...

Lujayn said...

Neither dream snapped you out of your boredom? Abu Fares, I know this is going to sound cliched, but I suggest a long ride on your bike. Nothing like serious sweaty exertion to revitalize you.

GraY FoX said...

damn
i'm freelancing as well, though i hate the boss/employee thingie, but still my customer act like hard-ass managers
hmmm still , you made me drool over the vacation though :D

KJ said...

I feel for you man. I work my ass off for 10 hours, then I drive to/from home for 4 hours. So I work a total average of 14 hours. It is nuts, nuts I tell you.

And the bosses can't seem to understand that we're human. More tasks.. more modifications.. it drives me insane. I've been working on the same files for 7 months now. I'm literally vomiting.

Sigh. I need all what you just said, but since I am not in any relaitonship, I would like the women to do more than feed me grapes ;)

abufares said...

Hey Yazan
You've got the right idea. I'm eagerly waiting for the weekend although I have no idea whatsoever of what to do. May be then I can get inspired and write something meaningful.

Hello Lujayn
I normally have some free time on my hand everyday. For the last fortnight or so I've been deprived of these precious moments. I rode my bicycle briefly last Friday but I honestly need to get away. I'm a little tired.

Gray Fox
I didn't have it in me to write more elaborately about my "vacation". Had I been in the correct mood and not in real need of a vacation, I would've let my imagination run much wilder. Ironic!

KJ
Welcome to my blog.
"Workers of the World Unite". We are all in the same boat. You see, I was so bored my dream ran short on steam. I took a nap to get in the right mood afterward. Even than didn't work out.

Sham said...

it makes me sad to see you bored after couple days of celebrating (or not) your birthday..i think one ought to create another approach to life on her/his birthday..
i wouldn't worry about you Abu Fares, with what you can offer, for life and people (online at least), i think you'll be just fine :-)

DUBAI JAZZ said...

Let's go to the Bahamas, check out the hotties in the coconut bras and do so some surfing.... pay tribute to the Anna Nicole Smith burial site....and basically forget all about work!

abufares said...

Wala Yhemmek Ya Sham!
I celebrated by BD, more so than many previous years.
I'm bored because I'm working more than I'd like and making less than I should :)))
Give me a couple of days and I'll snap out of it.
Thank you for believing that I have something to offer. I hope it's true.

Dubai Jazz
The Maldives is the destination I had in mind. Of course I've never been there but hope to one day. You're welcome to join but I wouldn't let you feed me or hold my drink.

The Syrian Brit said...

At the risk of sounding pedantic and finicky, I would like to draw a distinction between being 'bored' and being 'fed up'.. To my mind, what you describe seems to fit in the latter much more than the former..
I occasionally get bored when I have to do menial tasks that can be done by someone less skilled or less trained.. but I regularly get fed up by the constant, unrelenting demand on my time, from excessive workload, impossible targets, and unrealistic expectaion (both on my part, and on the part of others)..
Boredom distresses me because I feel that my skills are underused and unfulfilled.. Being 'fed up' distresses me even more because I feel that I cannot give each task the attention it needs to achieve to proper professional standards..
Whatever it is, I am sure it is nothing that wouldn't be cured by a 'hammock on a sunny beach'.. with all the rest of that wonderful fantasy...

abufares said...

Hi Syrian Brit
When I wrote this post I was both "bored" and "fed up" exactly for the same reasons you've indicated. I was suffering from all the symptoms you've so accurately discribed.
I'm looking forward that vacation although it still is a long way off.

Restless in Dubai said...

The Maldives?

Man, you gotta check out Mauritis Click Here Buddy

RnD

abufares said...

Hi RnD
The Maldives, Mauritis, the Bahamas, wherever. Just get me out of here.

I love Munich said...

While reading your fantasy, I could literally hear the gentle waves splashing on the beach, feel the soft breeze in my face and smell the sea with every breath ...
you're fantastic dear friend!!!
I know so well what you're saying .. fed up and as the
"The Syrian Brit" points out, at the same time fed up - rest assured I am the same, just the cause is a different one!
I shouldn't complain though ... as a matter of fact I am one lucky camper! My SKYPE is back on ...

abufares said...

Hi Karin
I'm glad you're back. I haven't seen you here for a while. I guess we all need this vacation in a way. There's one thing or another making the mass of people miserable at one time or another. I'll try to contact you soonest.

Ben said...

Wow, I'm currently feeling the same, as I am resigning ..
Went there searching for "Need a break, have a resign", thanks anyways for the story ;)