Follow Abufares

Friday, December 01, 2006

What I Don't like

This is the second, and luckily for me and for readers alike, last of a two-post mini series on my Likes and Dislikes. There is no way on earth I can openly speak about my dislikes without stepping on somebody’s toes.
I have to admit that I had to modify this list a bit. I have even taken a few things out. I never intended my blog to be a controversial one. It wouldn’t truly reflect my personality if it were. But in the end, I was able to state most of my dislikes, although in a somehow subdued manner. (No pictures this time)

I Don’t Like: Astrology and all pseudo sciences. That there are actually people out there who read their daily (or weekly) horoscope never seizes to amaze me (in a shocking sort of way). If I were ever in a position to round all the astrologists and fortune tellers of the world together in one place, I would inflict upon them the greatest punishment of all. I’d make them listen to each other for the rest of their lives.

I Don’t Like: People who write more than they read and those who talk more than they listen.

I Don’t Like: Floppies. How on earth are they still around? How did they come about in the first place? Back in the Middle Ages (1994) when a CD burner was outside the budget limits of most users, I would save a large file on multiple floppies (it was called spanning). I remember one particular 22 MB TIFF image that I needed to print on a large format printer. Back then, I had to drive to Damascus (248 km) to a print shop to get the job done. I took along all 18 floppies and while uploading the image file in the shop, I found out that Floppy no.11 was damaged. There was nothing I could do, except get my ass back to Tartous and hate floppies even more, for the rest of my life.

I Don’t Like: Politics in general. I detest George W. Bush and to a certain extent all politically ambitious people. Anyone who seeks public office via imposition or election with the exception of Bill Clinton (I like Bill Clinton) is a, how shall I say it, a self-promoter. When Walter Cronkite, the anchorman of CBS News, retired in 1981 he was approached by both American parties to run as their candidate for the presidency. He declined of course and instead cruised around the world in his sailboat. If my memory serves me right, he said then that anybody who becomes the president of the United States doesn’t deserve to be the president in the first place. How true that is!

I Don’t Like: The highway between Homs and Damascus. Although I love the desert, I think this the most annoying, boring and maddening stretch of asphalt in the world. A drive of a little over an hour and fifteen minutes seems for some reason to extend till eternity.

I Don’t Like: What had happened to my city in the last 30 years.

I Don’t Like: Jackhammers. They are earsplitting and nerve wrecking, but I really mean the human jackhammers rather than the noisy tools which provide a useful function at least. Moral Jackhammers and Political Jackhammers: I don’t know who’s worse. I can’t understand it how someone is actually allowed to make a living trough religion or politics. These persons claim that they are benevolent and that they are working for the betterment of their fellow men. Fine, they should not get paid a dime. As a matter of fact they should pay to the silent majority every time they open their mouths. One final note, I am talking about all religions and I am talking about politicians on both sides of the fence, loyal and opposition.

I Don’t Like: People who drive cars but don't pay for gas.

I Don’t like: The new meaning of the word Liberal. It’s really funny, but I got the impression, after watching an interview on TV the other day that the ”liberals” in the Middle East were dealt a hard blow due to the resignation of Rumsfeld. Am I getting this right? Arab liberals are fond of Rumsfeld and they are sorry he is gone? Pardon me for being away working for a living and excuse my ignorance, but Saudi Arabia is considered liberal? Who else is liberal… I hear that the governments of Egypt and Jordan are liberal now. Is that true?
In essence then, George W. Bush is a liberal. Do Americans really think their current president is liberal? But most importantly, do Arab “self-proclaimed liberals” think anyone can take them seriously? They must be mad. What’s even worse, from their “not necessarily high” ivory tower somewhere in the western hemisphere, they have the audacity to patronize the average people back home (they even call them neutrals) by going as far as suggesting themselves as an alternative. So the choices of the average person (Arabs in general) are limited to religious extremists, totalitarians or self-proclaimed liberals. What a nightmare!

I Don’t like: Having any sort of business with a government agency here in Syria. I would have to actually meet a clerk or an official (sitting behind their desks) who might believe that the chairs under their asses are their Lawful God Given Rights.

I Don’t like: Women who consider themselves superior because of the way they dress, who are very vocal about it and who think that they have reached a virtuous pedestal that other women should climb, with nails and teeth, to eventually reach. And, all of these beliefs are the result of nothing else but the way they dress. What I can’t stand even more are the “righteous” men who suppose that it’s their business to meddle and/or dictate the way women should dress. These men should all be forced to wear exactly what they want the women to wear.

I Don’t like: Wearing a suit and a tie. Unfortunately, sometimes I have to. Although I am certain the suit looks nice on certain men, this is beyond the point. How can one be comfortable by virtue of looking elegant but having a rope (of a sort) tied around his neck?

I Don’t like: Men who act like women and women who act like men. I must add that I am not particularly fond of men who really care about their looks and who regularly use the mirror (except for shaving). Even women who have an affair with mirrors get on my nerves.

I Don’t like: Tiger patterned lingerie. Is it supposed to bring the dormant bestial side in a man, or am I missing the point? What about feathered lingerie… KOKORIKO

I Don’t like: Commentating on football in any Arabic accent except Egyptian. All non-Egyptian commentators should be banned off the air. Listening to some of them is like being beaten over the head with a hammer. The Egyptian guy, whether he knows what he’s talking about or not, whether he’s getting the names right or not is “Light Blooded” at least.

Finally, I Don’t like: The Nouveau Riche, wherever they come from. I like the rich, the middle class and the poor. I also like the nouveau pauvre, but I can’t stand the nouveau riche and the rich who go cheap to stay rich.

How many toes did I hurt? Oops, I hope not too many.

24 comments:

Yazan said...

again a great read,

u know whats the thing abu fares,
You make so many good excuses and arguments, that I honestly forget in the midst of reading that I dont agree with you.. ;)

abufares said...

Thank you Yazan for disagreeing with me in such a gentlemanly manner.

Abu Gianluka said...

keefic ya habibi. How long has it been. Im very impressed by the writing, mom turned me to your blog and i have to say i can't get enough. Hopefully we can talk sometime and catch up, i really miss you and the old days and the old country.

Abu Gianluka

Ihsan said...

Oh, I can never talk about my dislikes in such a decent way as yours...if I ever try...I will be stonned by so many people!

We have 8 dislikes in common!

abufares said...

Hey Abu Gianluka
So nice to hear from you after all these years.
I'm glad you've found me. Well actually that we've found each other.
Hope to see you one of these days.
Stay cool.

abufares said...

Hi Ihsan

So you like tiger patterned lingerie and 7 other things on my list.
I just counted the items on my list and I found out that there are 16 of them.
So basically we agree with each other 50%. That's great isnt it?
Thanks for your comment.

Dubai Jazz said...

Salam Abu Fares, another great posting. As the other gentlemen have said; there could be no better, milder way to put somebody's dislikes.
...
“I Don’t Like: People who drive cars but don't pay for gas”
...
I was for a second confused. I thought I might ostensibly fall under this category: driving a company car, with covered petrol expenses.
But I think now know who you are talking about!
I can foresee that if I ever make public my list of dislikes, I am going to be in lots of troubles.
Regards

abufares said...

Hi Dubai Jazz
I'm glad you got my idea right. You definetely were not meant in my point relating to free gas.
Yasser Azme has a great way of saying what he doesn't like and we have to learn from the great artisits how to voice our discontent in a similar manner.
Thank you for your visit.

Ihsan said...

The lingerie was one of the dislikes!

I wouldn't say I like 8 of the things that you dislike, but I just don't feel that I dislike them.

abufares said...

Hi Ihsan
It was just a joke. I understand perfectly well what you meant in the first place.
Thanks for coming.

Omar said...

you know.. your last two posts made m try to think about what I like and don't like...and it turns out that I don't like far more things than what I DO like...does that make me an elitist or a hater?

but I strongly agree about the leopard lingerie ...

abufares said...

Hi Omar
I really don't think so. There are far more unpleasnat things than pleasant ones in the world around us. If we're smart, we find a way to avoid them, or better yet forget completely about them and focus on the little treasures we cherich so much.
Thanks for coming.

The Syrian Brit said...

Abu Fares,
Thank you for another interesting glimpse into your intriguing character..
I do share a lot of your dislikes.. I bet you kept the best ones to yourself!.. most of my serious ones would be either unprintable, or would carry the risk of a long and painful death!..
As for Bill Clinton.. well.. anyone who can talk his way out of a quagmire like his affair with Monica Lewinsky desrves some respect!!.. Isn't it amazing that he got away using practically the same excuse he used about smoking marijuana?. i.e. by saying 'I did, but I did not inhale!!..' ;-).. No wonder he is the highest-paid after-dinner speaker ever to roam the circuits!..

abufares said...

Hello Syrian Brit
You are right. What's not said is always more true than what comes out. However, you have to give me credit for getting my message across. I have a furtehr bet with you. I am certain that our lists are very similar.
Thank you for being here.

I love Munich said...

Super .. absolutely GREAT!!! I sympathise with a bunch of things again ... this fact alone makes me chuckle!
About Bill Clinton ... I find he was the best president since in the last decades ... I want to exclude Ronald Reagan and to a certain extent JFK.
I wholeheartedly agree to the "leopard" lingerie ... there"s not a chance I'd wear something like that!
As always ... GREAT post, a LOT of fun to read!! :-)

abufares said...

Hi Karin
Isn't it amazing with this infatuation with leopard and tiger lingerie. I guess it was a wild idea at first but it must've caught on. We should consider ourselves lucky they didn't try it out with a hedge hog instead of a tiger. Had it become popular, it would've been extremely painful;)

Rime said...

Very entertaining and thought-provoking, and as always a joy to read.

There was a British TV show and book a while back called Grumpy Old Men which I not only found very funny, but which to my horror described the kind of things I hate myself. I then heard several other women describe themselves as "grumpy old men" too and was reassured. :)

I'm going to have to break from the crowd and declare I am intrigued by your choice of Bill Clinton? Isn't he the slick politican par excellence?

Anonymous said...

Among other things, I agree with the football commentators issue. Egyptians are the best. But, does that mean you do not like Adnan Bozo??!!:):) (BTW, is he still around?)
Abu Abdo

Omar said...

I read this post friday afternoon at work. Friday night I was at a friend's house when her sister, who was going to a nightclub that night, came out dressed in a revealing leopard print tank top. My friend asked me, isn't that sexy?... hey! why do you have a smirk on you face?!

abufares said...

Hi Rime
I am a little "grumpy" and I am almost "old". My younger daughter of 11 asked me about the age of someone on TV and I said: "about 40". "Wow", she exclaimed, "she is so old". You see it's depressing if one lets it get to him.
As for Clinton. I like him for 2 reasons. First, I think he was the only president who goaded Israel to the point at which they've sent him Monica and the cheap cigar. And, I think that the entire world was a much better place during his presidency.

abufares said...

Hi Abu Abdo
Adnan Bozo 3atak 3emro some years ago.
Since I follow mainly European football I always prefer to hear the original commentary. Sometimes, however, it's only available in Arabic. The Egyptians are the only ones who are not annoying so that you can still enjoy the flow of the game.

abufares said...

Omar

I do have a smirk on my face, I can't help it.
It would be interesting to know what she was wearing underneath. I bet that it crossed your mind (naughty, naughty).

Ingrid said...

I have not read all the comments in this 'mini series' but I must say, it's an interesting way to get to know a person. Well, in the spirit of, getting to know a bit what that person is about. I might 'steal' your idea and just do a personal post like this. Unfortunately, I am mostly a political blogger (can't help myself, I'm intelligent wink wink) but I sure can appreciate the non political because one definitely needs a break from that idiocy from time to time,
thanks for the 'lists'!
Ingrid

abufares said...

Hi Ingrid

I look forward reading your 2 lists ASAP.
As you said, one needs to get away from the futility of politics every so often.
Thanks.