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Monday, November 13, 2006

Ascribo's Tag

I got back after a nine day absence to find a tag awaiting me. I have to thank Ascribo for taking my hand and coercing me to post after this long break. He just posed one seemingly simple question. The answer, as is the case with all intelligent questions, is as complex as it could get. I will try to be as spontaneous as possible, a trait I would very much like to pass on to my own children…

"Which of your qualities you want your child to have, and which of them you do NOT want him to have"

I want my children to be innocent but not naïve, exactly like me. Loyalty to friends, to family, to country and to principles is probably on the top of my better traits and which I consider to be my most valuable possession. I wish for my children to be loyal, to treat their word of honor as if it were of divine origin.
Although, at times, we have: “To prepare a face to meet the faces that [we] meet…” I am a man with one face only. I might rarely mask my emotions out of politeness or dignity, but my eyes are true windows to my soul. If one looks intently enough, he or she can always see my real and only self. I desire that my children are like that.
I have never taken myself or those I am with too seriously. I would not lose my self-respect or jeopardize the self-esteem of others. However, if faced with a pretentious bastard who enjoys playing the patronizing game, he will definitely be the sorry one. He would get a piece of my mind, and he would not like it. Despite the gift of being, in general, a peaceful person, I can turn into a fierce fighter if provoked, in the least, when my honor is at stake. I raise my children this way since I deem that this is a great aspect of my personality.
I believe in the personal freedom of choice. I would not hate a person if she disagrees with me. I would not stand her if she tries to convert me by making me “see her light” or if she is a persistent critic to others. I would like my children to make their own choices and to respect those of others. I fancy them to make their own way and not to follow a paved road, simply because it is less bumpy.
Finally (I need volumes to continue enumerating my “good” traits), I am a content man. I value the things in life I already possess. What I do not have means very little to me. I ask of my children to try to be like that.

My disdain for money in general means that I am not an overly ambitious man. I prefer that my children are, how shall I say it, more driven than I am. They should be less compromising when it comes to their personal materialistic comfort.
At times, I am too stubborn to realize what is good for me and for those around me. Once I set sails I loath any change in the direction of the wind. I should be more flexible and sensitive to the continuous alterations of the variables of life. I hope that my children can overcome this inherent shortcoming.
My patience runs thin when it shouldn’t or I maintain it for too long when there is no more reason to. It is a timing fault which I have failed to remedy. I prefer that my children’s mood be more consistent.
I am not an assertive person. Privately, within the chambers of my mind, I know that I am a very intelligent person and that I am grossly underrated. If I were not as spontaneous as I actually am, I would not have even written this last sentence. I crave that my children should promote themselves more lucratively.
I hope that my children turn out to be more focused than I am. I can easily get distracted and in doing so drop many potential possibilities. When the goal is of any material manifestation I often tend to lose interest if I find myself needing to ask for a favor or a shove to help me climb the ladder. I would call it a day and convince myself that nothing is really worth it after all. Nowadays, and in the future, a more cooperative and compromising stand would certainly be more fruitful in the end. I want my children to go all the way, even if it means that they should be “nicer”.
As is the case with my positive attributes there certainly are plenty of deficiencies in my personality. I see no reason why I should continue with this unconstructive babble about myself. I only desire that my children find their own way while standing tall, today and tomorrow.

15 comments:

Yazan said...

People with this level of self-awareness can never be less than extremely intelligent. it's an amazing gift.

When I'm in my 40s, i would like to know half as much about myself. this vividly.

great comeback abufares. ;)

abufares said...

Hello Yazan
It's great to be back indeed.
I missed writing, but most importantly reading the blogs I've grown attached to.
Thank you for your positive comment. Keep me posted about your ETA.
Ciao

Dubai Jazz said...

Welcome back Abu Fares, we missed you.
What an impressive resumption of blogging!
I second Yazan on his thoughts, if enough people would pause to think things over that deep, the world is going to be a better place.
Keep up the good work!

abufares said...

Hello Dubai Jazz
I, too, miss our little exchange through this comment window.
I'm glad you liked the post. I felt lucky to be tagged. I had no idea how to start writing although I have quiet a few interesting stories from my trip.
They'll come in due time.
Thank you for your visit.

Shannon said...

What a great question! What an even better answer! I'm sure your children are getting plenty from your long list of unwritten positive attributes.

Abu Kareem said...

Abu Fares,

Welcome back. Always figured you for a content man. In fact, I think anyone who reads your blog regularly could have listed your positive attributes as they come through clearly in your posts -which is what makes them enjoyable to read.

By the way, is the "see her light" reference from Paulo Coelho's Eleven Minutes?

abufares said...

Hi Shannon
So we were away for just about the same duration.
It's really tough to get back in the proper gear and kind of get in the mood for blogging again.
Being away on business meant that I've been out of my element (I had to wear a suit and a tie!!!)
I'm glad to be back.
I thank you for dropping by.

abufares said...

Hello Abu Kareem
So nice of you to drop by. You are right, I can only blog when I'm at peace with myself. I tried to write a couple of time, during the Israeli invasion of Lebanon. I was like a fish out of water and couldn't do it properly. It might be the reason why I can't write polical essays while at the same time tremendously enjoy yours.
Unfortunately, I have not yet read Eleven minutes by Paulo Coelho. I will get it as soon as I can since I enjoy his books tremendously. Just a coincidence, you know about the telepathy between the "great minds" :-)
I was referring to the insistence by some during a discussion that there should be a consensus at the end. They usually consider adopting their point of view as consensus. It mainly happens in political and religious arguments.
Take care

I love Munich said...

SHAME ON ME ... I was tagged as well by Ascribo and haven'd accomplished this task - yet. (SORRY ASCRIBO!!)I am thinking to do something particular though ...

I highy appreciate your honesty, your openness - and your priceless ability to critizise/scrutinize yourself. Only THAT shows the REAL character of a man ... I could not respect anyone who'd be unable to do so! Someone who needs to constantly pat himself on the shoulders has a BIG problem ...

Your children are very fortunate to have such a great dad as example and friend ... I can't imagine anyone better to guide them the right way, to teach them from your own mistakes - and to nurture and protect them. In one sentence ... you're a GREAT DAD!!

abufares said...

Hi Karin
I'm happy we're back!!!
Thanks for your positive comment. I think that the reason my answer turned out so honest and open is that I didn't really give myself any chance to think about it thoroughly. I was spontaneous in the full meaning of the word. It took me less than 10 minutes to answer Ascribo. When I finished, I reread it, thought about modifying a couple of things, then decided against it.
I try my best with my children, you know that. At times they appreciated me, but not always. Everybody has his/her own life to live and I am the one who has to appreciate that.
Glad you've been here.
Ciao

The Syrian Brit said...

Abu Fares,
What a delightful post.. a fitting reply to a challenging question.. I wish I have read this before I published my own reply!.. Compared to this, mine now looks like the school essay of a six-year-old!!..

Chet said...

I am a little late but welcome back! I cannot think of anyone better than you. Your kids are lucky to have you for a father. Great answers!

abufares said...

Thank You Syrian Brit for dropping by.
First I read your post then I'm replying to your comment.
I appreciate the fact that you liked my answers, but then again I'm not that surprised. Reading yours was almost like looking into a mirror. You have 3 kids, so do I. You are an honest, highly principled person, loving and caring.... all traits I like to think that I muyself possess.
Again, thanks for coming this way.

abufares said...

Hi Chet
After my absence, away at work, I return to have all sorts of problems with my internet connection.
I have so catching up to do reading yours and other blogs I truly enjoy.
Thank you for visiting.

Ascribo said...

Well, It took you less than 10 minutes to reply to my tag, while it took me more than 10 days to read your reply and another 10 days to write you a comment! What a Shame!

Anyway, I've got what I aimed at. I've always known you for being honest, spontatneous, and one-faced Real Man...I just wanted to employ these characteristics to know more about the way you see yourself.

Although you're saying few "negative" attributes, but I believe some of them come from the same root of the good ones. I've always thought human character as being an inevitable result to genetic and environment. That's why I like accepting people around me as a whole, and not to deal with them as a grouping of good and bad traits.

Thank you for your magnificient reply.