Bringing Up Kids!

I’m in the summer of my life. I find myself with plenty to consider. As I look back to the deeds I’ve done, to the dreams left unfulfilled, I feel some urgency. I haven’t carried out half of the stuff I thought I’d have accomplished by now. I have seen my road forks countless times in my past. I have followed so many dead ends. I have made more of my share of wrong choices. But here I am, and to my own surprise, a happy and content man.

Bringing up kids is like taking drugs or having too much to drink. They give you a headache but they fill your life with joy and fantasy. They also tend to make you forget a little about the present. Time sure flies with them around. I would’ve been on a different path in life hasn’t it been for them. One that could’ve been more exciting perhaps but nowhere near as gratifying. So I gave up some and took a lot in return. I’m not a free person anymore. I could never follow up on an instant urge, pack my stuff and just go in search of another campground, something I cherish no matter where I happen to be. Somehow, I don’t feel utterly disappointed with the missed chances, although they tend to get more stretched apart as the days go by.

I know that there will come one day when the kids have all grown up and gone. Would I be miserable then without them filling my life? Would I regret the unfulfilled dreams, the inaccessible roads, the uncharted lands? Could I soar in the infinite leeways of space and time once alone and untethered?

Twenty years ago, I didn’t know what I’d be doing today. I was a very happy young man then. Still, I wouldn’t trade my lot in life with all the treasures and adventures I’ve surely missed. I assume that as we grow older and our bodies get frailer, we tend to compensate for the shortcomings of our fate with something far more dazzling than mere words or thoughts: hope. And, this is exactly what kids give us, hope in the face of a nameless future. We all go through life knowing full well that there’s only death at the end. Yet, we persist despite our grief for those we loose along the way. We chisel happiness from the solid rock of an uncompromising veracity.

They’ll be alright… the kids I mean. We’ll manage somehow without them as well. If nature were to follow its normal course, we’ll reach our winter when their summer just begins.


Karin said…
WOW ... you're one heck of a
philosopher!! Do I read a wee-bit of resignation or sadness - only a hint - in your last sentence?

I think in order to lead a content life, one has to be capable to accept the mistakes one made! In my views, mistakes are something positive, NOT negetive at all as they give us a chance to learn - they serve a purpose! If we take that chance or not, is up to us! In other words, mistakes are important and positive - IF accepted and used to grow.
I made my share ... but got myself to follow my "self-knitted" rules.

Kids are a very important part, you're right. I find it important not to tie them down at a time they get "fully fledged" and give them the chance to make their own experiences, even though it pinches. I escaped the "nest" when I was 18 and wanted to "see the world" which to some extent I did (combined with studies, backpacking, youth-hostels ect) - and retrospectively seen, I am glad .. though I gave hell of tough time to my poor parents!

I like your post a lot - thanks SO MUCH for sharing!
Abufares said…

I'm a very happy and sad person. This is how I can describe myself to the best of my knowledge.
I, too, broke free early in life. I went away when I was 17 in search of my dreams & returned 8 years later to the place where it all started. I made many "happy" mistakes in my life and I've done my share of "sad" yet correct choices. I've also went through the exact opposite. You're right, they were all part of the learning process.
But with kids, it's different, it's as if a part of life is on hold. I don't really mind it at all. It just seems natural. There's still ahead the October (my favorite month) of my life which I really look forward to.
Thank you for reading...
Karin said…
The "October" of your life? Do you mean to say the "autumn" of it?
October, BTW, is a lovely month .. I like it too! The summer-heat is gone and the leaves change their color ... the air gets cooler - a REAL great month!

With kids ... I don't know if I'd say "life is on hold"! They grow So FAST ... they kind of give you the "wake up and smell the coffee" feeling and make you realize, you're getting older as well! I have two grown boys ... I remember so well when they were born, when I held them the first time, when they walked their first steps - and it all seems like day before yesterday!
It's up to the individual and in a way a matter of personality if one does have a problem with the age or not .. I sure do NOT belong to this category!
Abufares said…
because i love Ocotber so much, what i meant was that the best is yet to come (a sign of optimism).
as for a "part" of life being on hold while bringing up the kids, i think that in most cases, parents have to give up a "part" of their, let's say, wishes to accomodate for those of their kids.
Anonymous said…
Great post Abufares

"Would I regret the unfulfilled dreams, the inaccessible roads, the uncharted lands? Could I soar in the infinite leeways of space and time once alone and untethered?"

You didn't answer your own puzzling questions.
I await eagerly a post with full answers.
Karin said…
Ha-ha .. you'rean even greater philosopher that meets the eye!!

Believe me I happily gave up many of my "aspirations" for my kids and the fact they both turned out to be GREAT guys is MORE than I hoped and wished for!

I am a hopeless optimist .. I guess this attitude did several times protect me from going insane.

GREAT POST abufares!!
Abufares said…
Dear Anonymous

You caught me off guard! When I paused these questions I didn't entertain the idea of answering them. BUT, I promise to answer them in due time.


Thank you for your support. I love to hear from you "ALWAYS".
Karin said…
Hi abufares,
I'm sittinghere a while already, looking at all your pics (Flickr) and have to telll you, they're GREAT! I have a few questions though:
1) There's a pyramid on one pic ... was that taken in Tartous or ... Egypt maybe??
2) Race cars ... is there a race-track in Tartous?
3) The lil kids ... are they yours? They're so precious!!
4) There are two gondolas on one pic ... IN TARTOUS??
5) The last ... you and your son? How old is he? Two GREAT guys ...

I like the city ... I like the combination new/old! It has atmosphere ... it breathes history! GREAT!!! Thanks so much for sharing!!

P.S.: Just one more ... are there many refugees from Lebanon in Tartous at present?
Abufares said…
Hi Karin

I've replied to all of your questions by email.
Ascribo said…
Great post as usual... full of wisdom, full of self-satisfaction.

I may not be able to say more about your philosophy, but I feel sad to say that seasons are losing the "cutting-edge" recently...all over the globe

Mistakes are a great chance to learn...sometimes are the only chance. You'll never be able to know that you did it right if you don't know how the "WRONG" will look like. Mistakes will give you the power of comparison, and the ability to change...
Karin said…
I forgot to ask ... who's the sweetie-pie in this picture??
Abufares said…
Thank You Ascribo for visiting. I wish you the best of luck in your new blog and look forward reading your posts regularly.
Abufares said…
Hi Karin

I should've mentioned this I guess. This is little Fares when he was a few months old.
Karin said…
That was my wild guess!! Thanks anyway for telling ... !!

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